I start to stir awake. My mom peaks around the door to tell me I am keeping my dad waiting and how rude that is. But I am so tired so I am having a lot of trouble trying to get up. And ...
wait a minute! My mom ... my dad? Why are they in my apartment?
I get up (whilst still in bed) so I can look out the window behind me. I am on the second floor (my apartment window is at ground level) and I see the trees and the creek and everything that makes me realize that I am NOT in my apartment, I am instead at my parents house.
I feel confused and trapped. How can I get out of here? How did I get here question is not as important as how do I get out.
My dad appears at the door and at first he walks in as if nothing was wrong. But then he has closed the door and has me sitting across from him. He is in a higher chair than mine, but I am able to make my chair even with his. I could have made it higher, but I didn't want to. Even with his was fine enough. He smirked at that but then tried to pretend it didn't bother him, or that I was clever enough to figure that out on my own ... or that it happened at all.
The conversation is one-sided. It is banal and all about him. He doesn't ask a single thing about me, what I am going through, because everything he talks about turns back to being about himself.
I ask him follow up questions, which he is very pleased to answer. Then I tell him a quick note about myself. But I get no follow-up questions or much reaction from him, when I got the very opposite when we were talking about him.
I point this out to him. He says it doesn't matter, it is always about him, forever. He shakes his head in agreement with himself and makes a motion with his head for me to look behind me. I do and see my mom also shaking her head, but she has an overlay transparency of my dad's face on top of hers that is barely discernible. Then I see my sister and brother do the same. Then my uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces and so on start to protest but then come within sight of my dad and they stop mid-sentence, shake their heads along with him, and a transparent overlay floats closer to their faces.
I start to get terrified. But instead I say "I don't care how many people you brain-wash the person you most need to manipulate will never give up his true destiny. I will never give up completely. I pity you for trying to change everybody else so that you do not have to change, and you HAVE to change, but you won't. It's worse because you then brain-wash everybody else to follow you like you are a cult leader or something! You can have a small comfort in knowing that even though you have failed with me, I have also failed with you. But the difference is that your failure is a good thing and mine is not."
He returns: "I have you! You are going to come home this Christmas, period! I am tired of your willfulness!"
"It is not my willfulness that is the problem here, it is yours. Let down your lying eyes so you can see things as they truly are. Face your fears by facing reality not with your logical brain but with your heart. You are a living dead because your heart is dead."
Then I like saw my heart and was able to leave .... I can't describe it correctly.
This dream report is part real dream and part addition as I write it. I feel this is part of the "story" so I can do it this time, but I wanted to add that disclaimer.
What do I remember? My mom coming in and out, realizing I was at their house instead of my apartment, wanting to find a way to get the hell out of there, being stopped by my dad before I can even leave my bedroom, the conversation starting out calm then I stated my Power. I walk out but my mom tries to stop me for my dad, and other hands that I sense are my other family members, and they all feel like my dad's. I start to panic and give in to terror, but then I imagine the voices of my online friends and some co-workers (I guess, maybe they were angels) and they are under the surface of the noise. Then I follow their advice and look in my heart, there I see the truth, and I am able to let that dream fade away. But the end is kind of vague.
Anyways, it helped me feel less guilty for not going home for Christmas. It would just be another fake guilt-trip awkward brain-washing-session. A lie, not love. False peace. I would be surrounded and out-numbered and still not seen as me, still not able to just be. I would have had to smile and nod and pretend. I would have had to stay just long enough, but make up a story that I had other Christmases to attend to.
So, instead of all that mess, I am staying alone in my apartment.
But it's OK :) I am better being me, I can lift spirits and be a WaySeeker and hopefully also a WayShower! That would be cool. Not MY way (I will follow that myself), but your way. Helping you help yourself guide yourself from your own heart. Just, amplifying that still small voice.
i don't know how to describe it correctly ...
It is a work in progress.
No regrets, no making my heart heavier.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
She seductively says, "Can you help me to remove this hearing aide?"
I am in a room. Hotel room? Apartment? A woman has just walked out, I close the door after her, lost in her world ... when I realize I've walked off and left the door open.
I go over to lock it when someone is just outside realizes it is unlocked. I close and lock that door just in time, and I close a second door that is directly in front of the other. That way no one can force the door open, shoot through it, or anything.
-phew-
Next scene I am on a bed with white sheets. Mattress cover but we are not covered with sheets. We are in bed clothes.
We?
I am pretty far apart from this young looking (mid-late 20's?) athletic woman who either has brunette or blonde hair, I can't really tell in the dream. She is white and pretty. I feel we are friends, we have known each other for awhile before this scene.
Still I am a little nervous around her.
Nevertheless ... there are fade-cuts that bring us both moving across the bed to meet in the middle until we are right next to each other.
She wants a hug, she is depressed and stressed.
How do you hug when both parties are lying in bed too tired to get up? -- I think in the dream.
I know ... that's dream logic for you! lol
Anyway I hold her in my arms, and we very quickly fall asleep at the same time and wake up together in pretty much the same position.
I am a little embarrassed now. Maybe I thought we could only be friends, but this feels too good, and I don't want to ruin anything?
"What?" she asks.
"Nothing" I deflect.
"I have never slept so soundly before, nor woken up so refreshed."
"Me neither!" I admit before I can stop myself.
"Maybe we need to fall asleep hugging more often!"
I just have a nervous laughter.
"You blushed!"
"I don't think so!"
"You DID! Your cheeks turned red as a radish! Radish cheek! (she pokes my left cheek) Radish cheek (she pokes my right cheek)!"
"Heh!"
"I hate to say this, but you need to let me go so I can go to the bathroom."
I let her go, smiling at her, she smiles back. She gets up and goes to the bathroom.
"Come on in with me, it's OK. I need your help."
I thought she wanted to brush her teeth and I wanted to brush mine.
But when I stand in the doorway, she gets down on her knees, then moves her hips to the side to support herself with one hand. She uses the other hand to beckon me to come down to her level, so I do.
That is when she says "I need you to help me to remove this hearing aide."
Huh? What does that mean?
But then there is a jump and I realize the door is open a crack and I have to get up and rush over to secure it.
What happens now is an almost exact scene at the door as before. Strange.
So ... any guesses what her last words mean?
I go over to lock it when someone is just outside realizes it is unlocked. I close and lock that door just in time, and I close a second door that is directly in front of the other. That way no one can force the door open, shoot through it, or anything.
-phew-
Next scene I am on a bed with white sheets. Mattress cover but we are not covered with sheets. We are in bed clothes.
We?
I am pretty far apart from this young looking (mid-late 20's?) athletic woman who either has brunette or blonde hair, I can't really tell in the dream. She is white and pretty. I feel we are friends, we have known each other for awhile before this scene.
Still I am a little nervous around her.
Nevertheless ... there are fade-cuts that bring us both moving across the bed to meet in the middle until we are right next to each other.
She wants a hug, she is depressed and stressed.
How do you hug when both parties are lying in bed too tired to get up? -- I think in the dream.
I know ... that's dream logic for you! lol
Anyway I hold her in my arms, and we very quickly fall asleep at the same time and wake up together in pretty much the same position.
I am a little embarrassed now. Maybe I thought we could only be friends, but this feels too good, and I don't want to ruin anything?
"What?" she asks.
"Nothing" I deflect.
"I have never slept so soundly before, nor woken up so refreshed."
"Me neither!" I admit before I can stop myself.
"Maybe we need to fall asleep hugging more often!"
I just have a nervous laughter.
"You blushed!"
"I don't think so!"
"You DID! Your cheeks turned red as a radish! Radish cheek! (she pokes my left cheek) Radish cheek (she pokes my right cheek)!"
"Heh!"
"I hate to say this, but you need to let me go so I can go to the bathroom."
I let her go, smiling at her, she smiles back. She gets up and goes to the bathroom.
"Come on in with me, it's OK. I need your help."
I thought she wanted to brush her teeth and I wanted to brush mine.
But when I stand in the doorway, she gets down on her knees, then moves her hips to the side to support herself with one hand. She uses the other hand to beckon me to come down to her level, so I do.
That is when she says "I need you to help me to remove this hearing aide."
Huh? What does that mean?
But then there is a jump and I realize the door is open a crack and I have to get up and rush over to secure it.
What happens now is an almost exact scene at the door as before. Strange.
So ... any guesses what her last words mean?
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Shoes Well
Later I have one where I am with a group in a bookstore, all bright and full of stuff and everybody having a great time. My group leaves and I tag along behind, and one of them drops their silver bulbous cell phone and it makes such a clatter but they just keep going, how could they have missed all that echoing noise on the stairwell as we go down stairs?
So, I pick it up and try to chase them down, telling them they dropped their phone. I see them disappear around a corner on the stairs going down every time. I open the phone as I am going one time, curious as to it's odd shape. Experimentally, I put it to my face, and it seems to move to fit my face! It is very comfortable and it can now be hands free. But it's not mine so I quickly take it off and fold it back together.
I finally catch them up when we are at the bottom and I see them going up this grand wide staircase going straight up. I mean, a city bus, a 16 wheeler, could easily fit sideways on this stair case with plenty of room to spare!
I finally cause them to stop and turn around. I hold up the phone, waving it, telling them they dropped their phone. One of them makes a "d'oh!" motion, laughing and the group laughs with him, and he waves me up. But then the dream changes to something else.
I am not sure what, but I am in a building open to a common docking area with many other businesses. I help the delivery guy to come in and he starts talking to this girl, who I know is married, but I let them talk and hide. I have to bend under a wire like electrical cord. I move around rows of 3 foot tall bookshelves. He doesn't notice my hiding.
Later I go back outside and find myself next to a bunch of boxes piled there, Some of them have been opened. On top of the boxes I see shoes, all kinds, some sneakers some hiking boots. I get closer to inspect them, when I hear something coming from one of the businesses and see a couple people come out.
So I back away from the shoes. I don't want them to think I was going to steal them or anything.
So, I pick it up and try to chase them down, telling them they dropped their phone. I see them disappear around a corner on the stairs going down every time. I open the phone as I am going one time, curious as to it's odd shape. Experimentally, I put it to my face, and it seems to move to fit my face! It is very comfortable and it can now be hands free. But it's not mine so I quickly take it off and fold it back together.
I finally catch them up when we are at the bottom and I see them going up this grand wide staircase going straight up. I mean, a city bus, a 16 wheeler, could easily fit sideways on this stair case with plenty of room to spare!
I finally cause them to stop and turn around. I hold up the phone, waving it, telling them they dropped their phone. One of them makes a "d'oh!" motion, laughing and the group laughs with him, and he waves me up. But then the dream changes to something else.
I am not sure what, but I am in a building open to a common docking area with many other businesses. I help the delivery guy to come in and he starts talking to this girl, who I know is married, but I let them talk and hide. I have to bend under a wire like electrical cord. I move around rows of 3 foot tall bookshelves. He doesn't notice my hiding.
Later I go back outside and find myself next to a bunch of boxes piled there, Some of them have been opened. On top of the boxes I see shoes, all kinds, some sneakers some hiking boots. I get closer to inspect them, when I hear something coming from one of the businesses and see a couple people come out.
So I back away from the shoes. I don't want them to think I was going to steal them or anything.
Alonechestra
Stuff happens before this, but I forget what now. I am in a group, we are going place to place, as it goes on, I get closer and closer to this one girl out of all the people, even though I talk to others and they talk to me.
One time it is night and we are at a restaurant. It all seems so fun and easy. I am happy, forgetting myself, not worried about anything, talking to this one girl with ease, this friend.
It is nice to just hang out with them, with her. I feel myself without any ego or worry, I can just be.
She can just be as well.
Existence With Ease
...
Our group makes it to the Orchestra Stadium. There are many layers. I get separated from her and make my way up to find us good seats.
But the climbing is hard, very hard. You really have to hang on and pull yourself up step to step, others are having trouble too. It feels very dangerous trying to climb. Very steep narrow steps, each one very high. People grasping the few hand rails for support.
I get some great seats, but where is she? I go looking for her. I have to climb down.
Climbing down is far worse!
I see a male child, just from the back, and I worry about him. As well as a few others. Who built this place? Why does it have to be so hard?
I get to one indentation / level and then climb down much more manageable steps to get to the very bottom, which almost seems like it's "under the bleachers" kind of a place.
(at some point, there seems to be a time where we get to talk with the Conductor.)
That's where I find her. I crawl in there, and it has no seats and you can't really see out very well. There seems to be a view of huge screens, but it is hard to tell.
I ask her why she picked this place, how can she see anything?
She asks me where my special packet from this place is. It is a large white envelope as big as a book and has lots of stuff in it.
So, I go back up a level, I am sure I saw them there.
I did, I go to ask for mine, but stop. Where is my Event Badge, where is my Orchestra Ticket, where is my Identification (wallet)?
I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING.
So, I get panicky. I get quiet and I let others go in front of me. I try to speak up, but I'm not very confident or convincing so others keep passing in front of me/called forward by the employee.
He has some kind of light board there, he is having a good time with a customer who is in awe of it, a little boy (well, 12 early teens).
I kind of sneak around them and find my packet and move out of there.
I go back to the girl but ...
she's not there any more.
Nobody is, there is no sign anybody ever was.
So, I go looking for her. I told her where I found us great seats, maybe she went there?
I clamber up the steps and ...
now the place has changed a bit.
For one thing, there is a piece of ceiling over this section, now.
And other things. But it seems to be the same place just different.
I pass by all these people in my Group, but not a single one acknowledges my presence. I am still panicky from my packet-getting episode and then not finding her, so I go all quiet.
It bothers me that nobody acknowledges my presence, even if I don't really have much to say right now (which is why I don't start any conversations) and I'm melancholy, still why isn't anybody acknowledging me?
Is that her? She is turned from me, I can see her cheek but her eyes are not facing mine so she can't see me.. She is there third in that row.
I smile and my hand starts to rise to make a wave at her. But, my smile fades as my hand falls back to my side.
She isn't seeing me.
A male on one side and a female on the other side of her now have her attention.
Is it really her? How can I be 100% sure?
Maybe it isn't. It probably isn't. So, that means I still do not know where she is.
I don't want to bother this girl that just MIGHT be her.
I don't want it confirmed that she doesn't want to talk to me, or acknowledge me, or remember me.
I walk back down the row towards the stairs on the outside. A conversation pops up, they are wondering about something on the ceiling/arch like place above them. One asks the other "are they alive, are they tiny birds or insects or what?" I look up. I see like living lights, it's hard to describe. They are not simple balls of light, they have some shape to them, but it's fuzzy and indistinct. Like a loose form of a bird, I'd say most likely. They are light primary colors, like Easter colors, those odd washed-out colors of red and blue and green and yellow.
But I loose interest and keep on walking.
I go back to the place "under the stairs" where I first saw her, but still nobody else is there. I just stand there, hunched over a bit because the ceiling is too low, in a haze of melancholy.
Soon, everything fades to white. I can stand up now, and move around, and see shadows of things and people as it were, but I don't care.
I put my hand up to my heart, it should be racing, but I don't feel anything. It's like I don't even exist. But I don't exist inside something, surrounded by others. But they all pass me by, and they are oblivious of anything being wrong.
I wake up with my eyes closed. I bring the melancholy back with me ... great, first dream I recall in a long time and this is what I gain from it? I feel over my heart, but I feel nothing. I press my hand in, still nothing.
I type these words ... still nothing but ghost-beatings. I feel it beating, but when I put my hand there nothing. It is like it is beating from far away, through layers upon layers of gauze. I sense it, kind of feel the dull thudding. But my hand feels nothing.
Not even on my jugular.
I test my fingers, they can still feel.
I test my body, it is still there ... dominated by a threatening intestinal gurgle that means I do not want to give it any release or it will all come out.
IS this my answer? Is this what my life really is? I should care, I should be motivated, but all I feel is my intestines gurgling more and more. And quiet still constant breathing.
And I wander off again with that. Another stop in the bathroom just in case, then off to bed for like 3 more hours sleep if it will let me back in.
Make that two more hours ...
meh
One time it is night and we are at a restaurant. It all seems so fun and easy. I am happy, forgetting myself, not worried about anything, talking to this one girl with ease, this friend.
It is nice to just hang out with them, with her. I feel myself without any ego or worry, I can just be.
She can just be as well.
Existence With Ease
...
Our group makes it to the Orchestra Stadium. There are many layers. I get separated from her and make my way up to find us good seats.
But the climbing is hard, very hard. You really have to hang on and pull yourself up step to step, others are having trouble too. It feels very dangerous trying to climb. Very steep narrow steps, each one very high. People grasping the few hand rails for support.
I get some great seats, but where is she? I go looking for her. I have to climb down.
Climbing down is far worse!
I see a male child, just from the back, and I worry about him. As well as a few others. Who built this place? Why does it have to be so hard?
I get to one indentation / level and then climb down much more manageable steps to get to the very bottom, which almost seems like it's "under the bleachers" kind of a place.
(at some point, there seems to be a time where we get to talk with the Conductor.)
That's where I find her. I crawl in there, and it has no seats and you can't really see out very well. There seems to be a view of huge screens, but it is hard to tell.
I ask her why she picked this place, how can she see anything?
She asks me where my special packet from this place is. It is a large white envelope as big as a book and has lots of stuff in it.
So, I go back up a level, I am sure I saw them there.
I did, I go to ask for mine, but stop. Where is my Event Badge, where is my Orchestra Ticket, where is my Identification (wallet)?
I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING.
So, I get panicky. I get quiet and I let others go in front of me. I try to speak up, but I'm not very confident or convincing so others keep passing in front of me/called forward by the employee.
He has some kind of light board there, he is having a good time with a customer who is in awe of it, a little boy (well, 12 early teens).
I kind of sneak around them and find my packet and move out of there.
I go back to the girl but ...
she's not there any more.
Nobody is, there is no sign anybody ever was.
So, I go looking for her. I told her where I found us great seats, maybe she went there?
I clamber up the steps and ...
now the place has changed a bit.
For one thing, there is a piece of ceiling over this section, now.
And other things. But it seems to be the same place just different.
I pass by all these people in my Group, but not a single one acknowledges my presence. I am still panicky from my packet-getting episode and then not finding her, so I go all quiet.
It bothers me that nobody acknowledges my presence, even if I don't really have much to say right now (which is why I don't start any conversations) and I'm melancholy, still why isn't anybody acknowledging me?
Is that her? She is turned from me, I can see her cheek but her eyes are not facing mine so she can't see me.. She is there third in that row.
I smile and my hand starts to rise to make a wave at her. But, my smile fades as my hand falls back to my side.
She isn't seeing me.
A male on one side and a female on the other side of her now have her attention.
Is it really her? How can I be 100% sure?
Maybe it isn't. It probably isn't. So, that means I still do not know where she is.
I don't want to bother this girl that just MIGHT be her.
I don't want it confirmed that she doesn't want to talk to me, or acknowledge me, or remember me.
I walk back down the row towards the stairs on the outside. A conversation pops up, they are wondering about something on the ceiling/arch like place above them. One asks the other "are they alive, are they tiny birds or insects or what?" I look up. I see like living lights, it's hard to describe. They are not simple balls of light, they have some shape to them, but it's fuzzy and indistinct. Like a loose form of a bird, I'd say most likely. They are light primary colors, like Easter colors, those odd washed-out colors of red and blue and green and yellow.
But I loose interest and keep on walking.
I go back to the place "under the stairs" where I first saw her, but still nobody else is there. I just stand there, hunched over a bit because the ceiling is too low, in a haze of melancholy.
Soon, everything fades to white. I can stand up now, and move around, and see shadows of things and people as it were, but I don't care.
I put my hand up to my heart, it should be racing, but I don't feel anything. It's like I don't even exist. But I don't exist inside something, surrounded by others. But they all pass me by, and they are oblivious of anything being wrong.
I wake up with my eyes closed. I bring the melancholy back with me ... great, first dream I recall in a long time and this is what I gain from it? I feel over my heart, but I feel nothing. I press my hand in, still nothing.
I type these words ... still nothing but ghost-beatings. I feel it beating, but when I put my hand there nothing. It is like it is beating from far away, through layers upon layers of gauze. I sense it, kind of feel the dull thudding. But my hand feels nothing.
Not even on my jugular.
I test my fingers, they can still feel.
I test my body, it is still there ... dominated by a threatening intestinal gurgle that means I do not want to give it any release or it will all come out.
IS this my answer? Is this what my life really is? I should care, I should be motivated, but all I feel is my intestines gurgling more and more. And quiet still constant breathing.
And I wander off again with that. Another stop in the bathroom just in case, then off to bed for like 3 more hours sleep if it will let me back in.
Make that two more hours ...
meh
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Never Got There
I am trying to get to a meeting/event, but I never got there.
I have a map, but for some reason I only have partial directions.
I guess I thought I could remember the last street to turn left onto and the address.
I do fine, getting to the road that curves up and off the straight road I was on, but then I think the traffic confused me because I forget where I am going.
I turn around and find a building to go into to get directions.
I can't even say what this building contains. It may be a hotel?
I start to ask directions, but I am stopped and said the best place to ask for directions is downstairs.
So, I go downstairs.
There is a restaurant there. Almost like a fast food sandwich place?
But it also seemed to be something else at the same time, like a salon?
And now I am suddenly part of a group travelling, but I am unsure of my travel mates.
We sit down to eat.
But, I am antsy because I keep remembering I am supposed to be getting directions and on my way! I only gave myself so many minutes leeway to find the place.
So, I ask for directions, but as I am asking I am forgetting where I am going, which is very frustrating.
I feel so stupid, why didn't I just bring the entire directions?
The young woman helping me is probably around 24? She reminds me a little of Claudia in Warehouse 13, something she says about her chair seems to be a reference to that show.
I try to say "like Warehouse 13" to find out/show I get the reference, but I am drowned out by others talking.
I didn't eat.
I am back at my place suddenly and getting ready to try the trip again, but I look at the clock and realize I have to go now or not at all. I get back to the same part of the road, look at my directions and ... they stop. I can't believe this is happening a second time, I was set on being more organized this time!
I calm down, and try to "see" the way in my head. No good. Darnit!!!!!
So, I go back into the same building. I head straight for the downstairs restaurant.
But, I see it's closed and the lights are out.
I start back up the stairs when I almost run into a woman slightly taller than me, 30's or 40's. long blondish-brown hair, white, pretty, and she starts when she sees me. She gives a shy smile as if she thinks I'm cute. She tells me she is going downstairs for a book study, then corrects herself and says Bible study. Then she continues on downstairs.
I get back upstairs and on out to the steps and sit down in defeat. I'm never going to get there, why was I so stupid, etc.
I notice it is early evening the sun is down.
Then I see a white mouse/rat in the green grass. It sniffs at me all friendly like. I let it.
There is a big guy next to me now, dark features.
He says the rat/mouse is a part of the hotel and is nice.
He says he can show me the way, so we get in (my?) car and he is the driver.
He has a lot of his stuff he puts towards me.
A big square duffel bag (beige) and matching gloves (also light beige).
I am not comfortable with this situation all of a sudden.
I just want to give up and go home all by myself.
I tell him this but he doesn't listen, I know he hears me.
I am more forceful but polite in asking him to stop the car and get out I want to just go home.
He ignores me again.
So, I turn the ignition key myself and pull the key out so the car coasts between a couple trees and finally comes to a stop.
He says we could have had some fun! There is great fishing spots he was going to show me. He was even going to let me try on his gloves.
He insists I try them on now, I politely refuse.
I make him take all his stuff, and thank him.
I scoot over and back into the driver's seat.
But, I am so frustrated at the uselessness of it all that I wake up from the dream.
I have a map, but for some reason I only have partial directions.
I guess I thought I could remember the last street to turn left onto and the address.
I do fine, getting to the road that curves up and off the straight road I was on, but then I think the traffic confused me because I forget where I am going.
I turn around and find a building to go into to get directions.
I can't even say what this building contains. It may be a hotel?
I start to ask directions, but I am stopped and said the best place to ask for directions is downstairs.
So, I go downstairs.
There is a restaurant there. Almost like a fast food sandwich place?
But it also seemed to be something else at the same time, like a salon?
And now I am suddenly part of a group travelling, but I am unsure of my travel mates.
We sit down to eat.
But, I am antsy because I keep remembering I am supposed to be getting directions and on my way! I only gave myself so many minutes leeway to find the place.
So, I ask for directions, but as I am asking I am forgetting where I am going, which is very frustrating.
I feel so stupid, why didn't I just bring the entire directions?
The young woman helping me is probably around 24? She reminds me a little of Claudia in Warehouse 13, something she says about her chair seems to be a reference to that show.
I try to say "like Warehouse 13" to find out/show I get the reference, but I am drowned out by others talking.
I didn't eat.
I am back at my place suddenly and getting ready to try the trip again, but I look at the clock and realize I have to go now or not at all. I get back to the same part of the road, look at my directions and ... they stop. I can't believe this is happening a second time, I was set on being more organized this time!
I calm down, and try to "see" the way in my head. No good. Darnit!!!!!
So, I go back into the same building. I head straight for the downstairs restaurant.
But, I see it's closed and the lights are out.
I start back up the stairs when I almost run into a woman slightly taller than me, 30's or 40's. long blondish-brown hair, white, pretty, and she starts when she sees me. She gives a shy smile as if she thinks I'm cute. She tells me she is going downstairs for a book study, then corrects herself and says Bible study. Then she continues on downstairs.
I get back upstairs and on out to the steps and sit down in defeat. I'm never going to get there, why was I so stupid, etc.
I notice it is early evening the sun is down.
Then I see a white mouse/rat in the green grass. It sniffs at me all friendly like. I let it.
There is a big guy next to me now, dark features.
He says the rat/mouse is a part of the hotel and is nice.
He says he can show me the way, so we get in (my?) car and he is the driver.
He has a lot of his stuff he puts towards me.
A big square duffel bag (beige) and matching gloves (also light beige).
I am not comfortable with this situation all of a sudden.
I just want to give up and go home all by myself.
I tell him this but he doesn't listen, I know he hears me.
I am more forceful but polite in asking him to stop the car and get out I want to just go home.
He ignores me again.
So, I turn the ignition key myself and pull the key out so the car coasts between a couple trees and finally comes to a stop.
He says we could have had some fun! There is great fishing spots he was going to show me. He was even going to let me try on his gloves.
He insists I try them on now, I politely refuse.
I make him take all his stuff, and thank him.
I scoot over and back into the driver's seat.
But, I am so frustrated at the uselessness of it all that I wake up from the dream.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Crazy Sale!
I keep coming back to this store, so this is kind of like a repeating dream but all in one night.
I go back to the things I had seen before that caught my eye. I had set aside (hidden) a "message" like item. Was it a book or audio? I am not quite sure. I don't even know if it was for me but I felt it was invited to listen to it but share it with others ... not sure. But I found it again and held on to it.
Another item was a book. It was about the Universe. It had "& Natch" as part of the cover. Natch ... short for naturally? I flipped through the book again and it just seemed so fascinating and full of knowledge and fun things to read and learn about. It had lots of natural science things like solar systems, planets, moons, galaxies, etc. etc. Lots of pictures and diagrams in full bursting color! And some of the pictures moved. But also lots of text. So I picked that up.
I saw another book that was pearl white big and I think had a big white flower on the front with a nice green stem in a clear glass vase. On it was a sticker for their "Crazy Sale" where many items had crazy % off, like this one was 27% off. My universe book was 77.7% off? I forget.
I don't remember taking this other bok, but it held my interest.
Next I walk over to a display that seems new to me. It has music on it. Records, cassette tapes, and CDs. Two stick out to me. One looked like "Pink Floyd" but it was spelled differently. Like "Punk Floyd" or something. It had the famous "Dark Side of the Moon" prism on it except it was upside down and backwards. So the rainbow was being sucked into the prism and turning back into white light (which has been a metaphoric idea for me for the end of separation).
Then I see a cool music video playing! I was mesmerized. I think it was by Metallica? But I am not a Metallica fan and it did not sound like their usual sound. But this song (instrumental as much as I heard of it) was captivating! I even started "singing" along with the song because it soon felt like I knew it or could feel it.
The logo was bluish silver metal with a big M like this /\/\ at the start and a big /\ A at the end.
The video was a concave semi-circle of metallic-stone looking spires (obsidian? magnetite?) and these paired up people dancing around it in a way that spoke of preparation and determination, sadness and righteous anger. They were all together but paired up one male with one female. Angels, warrior angels?
I wondered about that. I heard we look like them. I took a closer look and realized they were completely naked without shame or noticing each other being naked.
I looked closer at a female, her bust was small, and i was surprised to see she had nipples. Once I see the nipples I am look "oops" and back off with my eyes and stop focusing on that. I didn't want them to think I was being lascivious.
They don't seem to mind (because for a moment there i was inside that place with them, in the center, watching them) and they allowed/forgave my moment of curiosity. There were these blue lines of lightening that arced between the spires, jumped around them. It was very awe-inspiring!
I grabbed both CDs. At the table, each customer was pleasantly surprised and talking about an item they were selling at the check out table. I can't remember what it was, though, but it caused quite the sensation.
I go back to the things I had seen before that caught my eye. I had set aside (hidden) a "message" like item. Was it a book or audio? I am not quite sure. I don't even know if it was for me but I felt it was invited to listen to it but share it with others ... not sure. But I found it again and held on to it.
Another item was a book. It was about the Universe. It had "& Natch" as part of the cover. Natch ... short for naturally? I flipped through the book again and it just seemed so fascinating and full of knowledge and fun things to read and learn about. It had lots of natural science things like solar systems, planets, moons, galaxies, etc. etc. Lots of pictures and diagrams in full bursting color! And some of the pictures moved. But also lots of text. So I picked that up.
I saw another book that was pearl white big and I think had a big white flower on the front with a nice green stem in a clear glass vase. On it was a sticker for their "Crazy Sale" where many items had crazy % off, like this one was 27% off. My universe book was 77.7% off? I forget.
I don't remember taking this other bok, but it held my interest.
Next I walk over to a display that seems new to me. It has music on it. Records, cassette tapes, and CDs. Two stick out to me. One looked like "Pink Floyd" but it was spelled differently. Like "Punk Floyd" or something. It had the famous "Dark Side of the Moon" prism on it except it was upside down and backwards. So the rainbow was being sucked into the prism and turning back into white light (which has been a metaphoric idea for me for the end of separation).
Then I see a cool music video playing! I was mesmerized. I think it was by Metallica? But I am not a Metallica fan and it did not sound like their usual sound. But this song (instrumental as much as I heard of it) was captivating! I even started "singing" along with the song because it soon felt like I knew it or could feel it.
The logo was bluish silver metal with a big M like this /\/\ at the start and a big /\ A at the end.
The video was a concave semi-circle of metallic-stone looking spires (obsidian? magnetite?) and these paired up people dancing around it in a way that spoke of preparation and determination, sadness and righteous anger. They were all together but paired up one male with one female. Angels, warrior angels?
I wondered about that. I heard we look like them. I took a closer look and realized they were completely naked without shame or noticing each other being naked.
I looked closer at a female, her bust was small, and i was surprised to see she had nipples. Once I see the nipples I am look "oops" and back off with my eyes and stop focusing on that. I didn't want them to think I was being lascivious.
They don't seem to mind (because for a moment there i was inside that place with them, in the center, watching them) and they allowed/forgave my moment of curiosity. There were these blue lines of lightening that arced between the spires, jumped around them. It was very awe-inspiring!
I grabbed both CDs. At the table, each customer was pleasantly surprised and talking about an item they were selling at the check out table. I can't remember what it was, though, but it caused quite the sensation.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Random - Asteroid Shuttles & Showing Photos
Asteroid Shuttles
I was watching, I am a part of, this event. We are being calm despite the danger. Why should we panic and sour our souls there's nothing we can do either we make it out or we don't. The ones that do make it were supposed to, why ruin their chances by preventing their passage by getting in their way?
The asteroids have started hitting the shuttle field. I watch them strike a shuttle just as it was starting to take off, and then hit a group of people. I have to re-double my efforts to remain calm because if I am to die I will and if I die with fear and doubt I will sour my soul and I'll have to come back here again.
It isn't easy, but I manage, and I don't get hit by an asteroid falling all over the place. I make it onto a shuttle and it zooms off, but how far we actually make it I have no idea.
***
Showing Photos
I was asleep right next to one like unto my sister.
She was starting to see through this manipulator and taking my side.
I am showing photos to her (I think) and am surprised I took some video too.
There is dancing on a small stage and in chairs set up in front of it, just one row just a few.
Some are drunk.
There was violence .... a massacre, a shoot-out.
It looked like a weird bowling alley from these rows of wooden shelving I thought were for holding bowling balls. Bodies were curled up in there. I was hoping they were just asleep.
But I had other photos of executed people in a white tile sauna like room.
And I watched a hoot-out outside. It was very green, manicured lawns with gentle hills and landscaping, some white pieces like columns and little buildings. I saw a female well-dressed FBI agent (I think) trading gun fire with others.
Someone there (dad?) wanted to keep my (sister?) from seeing some of the photos. Not letting her decide for herself. Some were disturbing. She was arguing she wanted to see them she wasn't a child she could handle it and chose for herself. He took them anyway.
But he didn't take all of them. He walks off, thinking he's won. I point to the pocket where the other photos are and she sees and smiles and picks them up, looks through them silently, then hugs me.
"Didn't they upset you?"
"Yes, they did. But I am more upset that they upset you, so I wanted to comfort you now that I know what you have suffered through.
But she wasn't anything like my sister then, and I wondered if she ever was. She seemed like my best friend, my guardian angel.
****
Cat in the Box
I don't remember all the details save one now as I try to add to this this evening.
A small group of people (3-5) guided me to a covered thing. I go to it, and two of them ceremoniously pull the cover off. Under it is a big box, plastic I think. There is a clear part and a door you can open. Inside is a black and white cat! It is black on top and white underneath, with white on it's face (on the bottom half mainly).
I don't know what to say. It seems at the same time great to have an animal friend but I worry if I can take proper care of it and how much it will cost. I am both gratified at the kindness of my friends yet simultaneously upset that they would force this on me.
What am I going to do now?
I was watching, I am a part of, this event. We are being calm despite the danger. Why should we panic and sour our souls there's nothing we can do either we make it out or we don't. The ones that do make it were supposed to, why ruin their chances by preventing their passage by getting in their way?
The asteroids have started hitting the shuttle field. I watch them strike a shuttle just as it was starting to take off, and then hit a group of people. I have to re-double my efforts to remain calm because if I am to die I will and if I die with fear and doubt I will sour my soul and I'll have to come back here again.
It isn't easy, but I manage, and I don't get hit by an asteroid falling all over the place. I make it onto a shuttle and it zooms off, but how far we actually make it I have no idea.
***
Showing Photos
I was asleep right next to one like unto my sister.
She was starting to see through this manipulator and taking my side.
I am showing photos to her (I think) and am surprised I took some video too.
There is dancing on a small stage and in chairs set up in front of it, just one row just a few.
Some are drunk.
There was violence .... a massacre, a shoot-out.
It looked like a weird bowling alley from these rows of wooden shelving I thought were for holding bowling balls. Bodies were curled up in there. I was hoping they were just asleep.
But I had other photos of executed people in a white tile sauna like room.
And I watched a hoot-out outside. It was very green, manicured lawns with gentle hills and landscaping, some white pieces like columns and little buildings. I saw a female well-dressed FBI agent (I think) trading gun fire with others.
Someone there (dad?) wanted to keep my (sister?) from seeing some of the photos. Not letting her decide for herself. Some were disturbing. She was arguing she wanted to see them she wasn't a child she could handle it and chose for herself. He took them anyway.
But he didn't take all of them. He walks off, thinking he's won. I point to the pocket where the other photos are and she sees and smiles and picks them up, looks through them silently, then hugs me.
"Didn't they upset you?"
"Yes, they did. But I am more upset that they upset you, so I wanted to comfort you now that I know what you have suffered through.
But she wasn't anything like my sister then, and I wondered if she ever was. She seemed like my best friend, my guardian angel.
****
Cat in the Box
I don't remember all the details save one now as I try to add to this this evening.
A small group of people (3-5) guided me to a covered thing. I go to it, and two of them ceremoniously pull the cover off. Under it is a big box, plastic I think. There is a clear part and a door you can open. Inside is a black and white cat! It is black on top and white underneath, with white on it's face (on the bottom half mainly).
I don't know what to say. It seems at the same time great to have an animal friend but I worry if I can take proper care of it and how much it will cost. I am both gratified at the kindness of my friends yet simultaneously upset that they would force this on me.
What am I going to do now?
Sunday, April 25, 2010
lATE (also 3 shorts)
So, I'm just picking up my breakfast order in a drive thru when I get a phone call. It's my brother, he wants me to come right away, it's an emergency. I drive home fast it's reckless and scary but kinda fun, and I worry about cops but suddenly I'm home and inside the house.
:/ I really don't like it here. The weird mix of feelings juxtaposed makes my stomach tighten up. Nostalgia and care mixed with anxiety and wariness. I smile and I listen, but I'm very annoyed, because I'm finding out ... there is no emergency!
I have to go, I was on my way to somewhere (school? work? elsewhere?) and I still have time to make it there.
My brother is trying to make me feel obligated and feel guilty for not being nicer. But I'm perturbed at their trap so I'm trying to smile and be nice but I just want to get out of there!
There I am, with my bagged breakfast getting cold, but my mom keeps insisting I take HER food with me. The "emergency" is she's baked a lot of food. Is it a business -- I think she is making and selling food. (She IS a great cook!). She keeps wanting me to try food and take food and its all deserts and bread like stuff and to please her I take some, but she keeps piling it on and my arms are getting sore from trying to carry all this stuff and it's nothing I really want to eat all day so I get short.
I manage to keep a sticky cinnamon roll that is falling apart with me, on top of my bag of food. I try some. It is good. But I have to go! So, I don't say anything.
My brother chastises me for not gushing over it (I don't really say anything) as I try to move through a maze of items both inside and out. I forget what all the obstacles were, but it was like a maze!
I start to take a bite of her food but I instead accidentally knock it out of my hands and into the dirt. Great.
Now I could take a car they want me to take, but I just want MY car, the car I drove in to get here. Strange thing is, while I was inside I was forgetting how I got here so I am struggling now to trust my vague memory now that I am outside.
But, you see, it hasn't completely returned yet, so I keep asking for (and this is true in real life as well, the car I had before this one was a Honda) my Honda.
They kept telling me I don't have a Honda but I can take one of theirs. I need to take mine, or else I'll have to get a ride back here to get it! It's just another trick to keep me here and get me to come back.
I loose it. "I'M SO SICK OF ALL THE LIES HERE YOU KNOW WHICH CAR I'M TALKING ABOUT."
At least that pauses their chattering (bro and mom), but the clutter in the driveway seems closer and more like blockages then before. *sigh* "I didn't mean to yell, it's just I try to bring the best out in you and make you happy but in return all you guys do is do the very opposite to me. I've tried and tried but I'm tired now and I just want to go back to where I was and let you be where you were, OK?"
They're quiet, and I suddenly remember what my car is and where it is! I dash over to it, but when I yelled I dropped my bag and I see now that dirt found a way into the bag and onto my breakfast sandwich.
.... great! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
So, I get into my car and as soon as I'm ready to back out, and I'm actively backing out, I'm blocked. Worker like people with worker like trucks decide they want out before me. So, I have to wait on one. The other I try to speed up and honk my horn but I have to wait for him, too.
FINALLY I can go now!
It's hard to drive now. I am having trouble concentrating. Traffic is flowing just fine but there are a lot of cars. I am distracted by my gurgling stomach, and I even go as far as opening the bag again but I see the sandwich has dirt on it so I cannot eat it it's ruined. It's hard doing all the tasks needed to drive. I keep getting turned around and worried I won't be paying attention and get to where I need to go. I pull to the side and stop at a place, but I forget now if it was my orginal destination or not.
***
SHORT PIECES (I recall a couple other short pieces of dreams)
Sitcom Boss
I dream I walk by this room and see a co-worker staring at a TV. Her name is Jo Lee. I hear her laughing and saying "No way." Curious I walk in. I'm shocked to see my boss, Robyn, there in the TV show! A sitcom like that one Tim Allen was in ages ago. My boss is in a red dress with red lipstick. She makes another joke and the TV audience roars with laughter and my co-worker says "unreal!" Then I say "unreal". We continue to watch the show in wide-eyed amazement.
***
Game of High States
I am playing a board game with three other men. We have pieces to move around the board like Parcheesi or sorry or whatever. We have plastic tiles like dominoes. We have to pick them out of a bag. They have different colors, forest colors like bark browns and brownish-greens mainly. We talk some as we play. The play goes clockwise. I'm doing horribly, I picked a tile that freezes my movements until I get another certain tile, which I'm not getting. I'm starting to get frustrated, I don't have to win but I feel hampered and helpless and I hate that! They are getting so far ahead of me, I am getting so far behind, but I want to keep playing.
Eventually, the three other players decide to just let me start moving again. I don't want to cheat. They say it's not exactly cheating, the next edition of the game (which one of the players has but we are playing an older version) has a sub-rule that makes it that special tile OR you can move after X number of turns. They agree I've been frozen for more than enough turns. I reach my hand in the bag (I can still pick tiles, I just can't move) and, of course, this is when I get the unfreeze tile!
We laugh at that.
But that's when I realize some of these thick plastic tiles (even with a flat raised circular bump on some of them) look like States, United State States! The brown piece I picked was the smaller bit of Michigan, but I also find I have the bigger piece of Michigan as well!
I see other states, but I forget what they are.
I look up at the other players and say "Hey .... just what kind of game are we playing, here?"
***
Funny Sports Video
I watch this funny sports video someone got on their camcorder. This older girl, like 21 I think, is with these younger kids. They aren't having fun with the game/exercise, so she comes in to lighten things up and make it more playful. She let's herself get bonked in the head with this big light balloon of a ball (it doesn't hurt) and bonks someone else with it. She moves from one playing field to another and it's silly and fun!
:/ I really don't like it here. The weird mix of feelings juxtaposed makes my stomach tighten up. Nostalgia and care mixed with anxiety and wariness. I smile and I listen, but I'm very annoyed, because I'm finding out ... there is no emergency!
I have to go, I was on my way to somewhere (school? work? elsewhere?) and I still have time to make it there.
My brother is trying to make me feel obligated and feel guilty for not being nicer. But I'm perturbed at their trap so I'm trying to smile and be nice but I just want to get out of there!
There I am, with my bagged breakfast getting cold, but my mom keeps insisting I take HER food with me. The "emergency" is she's baked a lot of food. Is it a business -- I think she is making and selling food. (She IS a great cook!). She keeps wanting me to try food and take food and its all deserts and bread like stuff and to please her I take some, but she keeps piling it on and my arms are getting sore from trying to carry all this stuff and it's nothing I really want to eat all day so I get short.
I manage to keep a sticky cinnamon roll that is falling apart with me, on top of my bag of food. I try some. It is good. But I have to go! So, I don't say anything.
My brother chastises me for not gushing over it (I don't really say anything) as I try to move through a maze of items both inside and out. I forget what all the obstacles were, but it was like a maze!
I start to take a bite of her food but I instead accidentally knock it out of my hands and into the dirt. Great.
Now I could take a car they want me to take, but I just want MY car, the car I drove in to get here. Strange thing is, while I was inside I was forgetting how I got here so I am struggling now to trust my vague memory now that I am outside.
But, you see, it hasn't completely returned yet, so I keep asking for (and this is true in real life as well, the car I had before this one was a Honda) my Honda.
They kept telling me I don't have a Honda but I can take one of theirs. I need to take mine, or else I'll have to get a ride back here to get it! It's just another trick to keep me here and get me to come back.
I loose it. "I'M SO SICK OF ALL THE LIES HERE YOU KNOW WHICH CAR I'M TALKING ABOUT."
At least that pauses their chattering (bro and mom), but the clutter in the driveway seems closer and more like blockages then before. *sigh* "I didn't mean to yell, it's just I try to bring the best out in you and make you happy but in return all you guys do is do the very opposite to me. I've tried and tried but I'm tired now and I just want to go back to where I was and let you be where you were, OK?"
They're quiet, and I suddenly remember what my car is and where it is! I dash over to it, but when I yelled I dropped my bag and I see now that dirt found a way into the bag and onto my breakfast sandwich.
.... great! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
So, I get into my car and as soon as I'm ready to back out, and I'm actively backing out, I'm blocked. Worker like people with worker like trucks decide they want out before me. So, I have to wait on one. The other I try to speed up and honk my horn but I have to wait for him, too.
FINALLY I can go now!
It's hard to drive now. I am having trouble concentrating. Traffic is flowing just fine but there are a lot of cars. I am distracted by my gurgling stomach, and I even go as far as opening the bag again but I see the sandwich has dirt on it so I cannot eat it it's ruined. It's hard doing all the tasks needed to drive. I keep getting turned around and worried I won't be paying attention and get to where I need to go. I pull to the side and stop at a place, but I forget now if it was my orginal destination or not.
***
SHORT PIECES (I recall a couple other short pieces of dreams)
Sitcom Boss
I dream I walk by this room and see a co-worker staring at a TV. Her name is Jo Lee. I hear her laughing and saying "No way." Curious I walk in. I'm shocked to see my boss, Robyn, there in the TV show! A sitcom like that one Tim Allen was in ages ago. My boss is in a red dress with red lipstick. She makes another joke and the TV audience roars with laughter and my co-worker says "unreal!" Then I say "unreal". We continue to watch the show in wide-eyed amazement.
***
Game of High States
I am playing a board game with three other men. We have pieces to move around the board like Parcheesi or sorry or whatever. We have plastic tiles like dominoes. We have to pick them out of a bag. They have different colors, forest colors like bark browns and brownish-greens mainly. We talk some as we play. The play goes clockwise. I'm doing horribly, I picked a tile that freezes my movements until I get another certain tile, which I'm not getting. I'm starting to get frustrated, I don't have to win but I feel hampered and helpless and I hate that! They are getting so far ahead of me, I am getting so far behind, but I want to keep playing.
Eventually, the three other players decide to just let me start moving again. I don't want to cheat. They say it's not exactly cheating, the next edition of the game (which one of the players has but we are playing an older version) has a sub-rule that makes it that special tile OR you can move after X number of turns. They agree I've been frozen for more than enough turns. I reach my hand in the bag (I can still pick tiles, I just can't move) and, of course, this is when I get the unfreeze tile!
We laugh at that.
But that's when I realize some of these thick plastic tiles (even with a flat raised circular bump on some of them) look like States, United State States! The brown piece I picked was the smaller bit of Michigan, but I also find I have the bigger piece of Michigan as well!
I see other states, but I forget what they are.
I look up at the other players and say "Hey .... just what kind of game are we playing, here?"
***
Funny Sports Video
I watch this funny sports video someone got on their camcorder. This older girl, like 21 I think, is with these younger kids. They aren't having fun with the game/exercise, so she comes in to lighten things up and make it more playful. She let's herself get bonked in the head with this big light balloon of a ball (it doesn't hurt) and bonks someone else with it. She moves from one playing field to another and it's silly and fun!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Confusion, Violence & Lies in Traffic; Adventures in Resident Evil Land - oh joy
Confusion, Violence & Lies in Traffic:
I think I was at work before this? Now I'm trying to figure out which turn lane to be in. This one car pulls around all the others onto the median and on the other side of the road and through the light as it's green to get past all these other cars to get further in line on the other side of the light, and we're waiting on another light.
People are agitated at him. They also don't like how he has positioned his car now. He is out of his car confronting the other drivers!
There is a police officer, and he gets out of his car, but he seems to be supporting the bad driver. But more in not stopping him then anything more direct. The bad driver has some kind of weapon, like a bat or shotgun? He looks at the cop, who nonchalantly turns away from him, and that's when the bad driver strikes a driver and stomps off.
A person in my car or near my car decides to go tell the cop on the guy. I tell him to be careful and he reaches back in the car and gets a weapon like the bad driver's. The cop is in a car by now. He tries to tell the officer of the law what the bad driver did, but the cop disarms him and laughs at him like a bully. The guy is confused. He has lost his train of thought. He reaches into the cop car to retrieve his weapon. The cop lies for the bad driver, he's not going to do anything about it.
I get past all of this and I want to get home because a new dog is going to be there! Things keep getting in the way. I think we drive forwards with the car backwards at some point. We have to slow down when loose neighborhood dogs are in the street.
***
See More Resident Evil: Afterlife Movie Still at IGN.com
Adventures in Resident Evil Land - oh joy
I am going along for the ride! I see people dying in horrible ways by one creature more than any other. It is big bulky and mainly a big huge mouth full of teeth with no lips. It can take a lot of bullets, but mainly it likes to move so fast and side to side that you can't hit it, and to scare you so you can't target it properly. Then it grabs you and bites you, or tears you apart limb by limb, or slowly breaks and twists you apart at your back, or slams you on the ground while still holding onto you.
I also see weird plant life. It's all red, bright red, glowing red. Many of these things move themselves, as if they are swaying under water. Some can move off of a single spot. There are "walking" "toadstools" large and small, as well as "fan tree" like things. They don't seem to be hurting anybody that I can see. they seem to be like migrating birds moving a a mass formation group. Some just are rooted and sway there.
We were on these weird platforms and mazes and such. Going down as if going deeper into Hell in order to escape. Strangely enough, I didn't stay with the group I was with ... it was more like I saw through a movie camera and so I moved to several other views, including vistas and action points a CGI camera would follow.
It was like watching a movie and being in it at the same time.
That's why I'm up now. It was way too intense for me! Too trippy, horror-scary, and the way I saw it the way it moved.
And no, once again like every time I put things in, I have done no drugs. I didn't even drink. I don't really drink anymore, anyway. I did watch the trailer for the new "Resident Evil: Afterlife" but that was early in the evening and I'm not sure why I dreamed of it I don't dream of tings in the real world that often and why wait till late in my dreaming cycle to use it?
I think I was at work before this? Now I'm trying to figure out which turn lane to be in. This one car pulls around all the others onto the median and on the other side of the road and through the light as it's green to get past all these other cars to get further in line on the other side of the light, and we're waiting on another light.
People are agitated at him. They also don't like how he has positioned his car now. He is out of his car confronting the other drivers!
There is a police officer, and he gets out of his car, but he seems to be supporting the bad driver. But more in not stopping him then anything more direct. The bad driver has some kind of weapon, like a bat or shotgun? He looks at the cop, who nonchalantly turns away from him, and that's when the bad driver strikes a driver and stomps off.
A person in my car or near my car decides to go tell the cop on the guy. I tell him to be careful and he reaches back in the car and gets a weapon like the bad driver's. The cop is in a car by now. He tries to tell the officer of the law what the bad driver did, but the cop disarms him and laughs at him like a bully. The guy is confused. He has lost his train of thought. He reaches into the cop car to retrieve his weapon. The cop lies for the bad driver, he's not going to do anything about it.
I get past all of this and I want to get home because a new dog is going to be there! Things keep getting in the way. I think we drive forwards with the car backwards at some point. We have to slow down when loose neighborhood dogs are in the street.
***
See More Resident Evil: Afterlife Movie Still at IGN.comAdventures in Resident Evil Land - oh joy
I am going along for the ride! I see people dying in horrible ways by one creature more than any other. It is big bulky and mainly a big huge mouth full of teeth with no lips. It can take a lot of bullets, but mainly it likes to move so fast and side to side that you can't hit it, and to scare you so you can't target it properly. Then it grabs you and bites you, or tears you apart limb by limb, or slowly breaks and twists you apart at your back, or slams you on the ground while still holding onto you.
I also see weird plant life. It's all red, bright red, glowing red. Many of these things move themselves, as if they are swaying under water. Some can move off of a single spot. There are "walking" "toadstools" large and small, as well as "fan tree" like things. They don't seem to be hurting anybody that I can see. they seem to be like migrating birds moving a a mass formation group. Some just are rooted and sway there.
We were on these weird platforms and mazes and such. Going down as if going deeper into Hell in order to escape. Strangely enough, I didn't stay with the group I was with ... it was more like I saw through a movie camera and so I moved to several other views, including vistas and action points a CGI camera would follow.
It was like watching a movie and being in it at the same time.
That's why I'm up now. It was way too intense for me! Too trippy, horror-scary, and the way I saw it the way it moved.
And no, once again like every time I put things in, I have done no drugs. I didn't even drink. I don't really drink anymore, anyway. I did watch the trailer for the new "Resident Evil: Afterlife" but that was early in the evening and I'm not sure why I dreamed of it I don't dream of tings in the real world that often and why wait till late in my dreaming cycle to use it?
Saturday, April 3, 2010
!SLAP!
All I seem to be able to recall is talking to my Dad, and my brother pipes up and says an insulting lie about me.
So, I step forward without even planning and SLAP him! I tell him not to interrupt and not to bear false witness against your brother, and your elder. (I am the oldest)
He says that that was a good slap, and I am right. He is very conciliatory and happily surprised. He is finally seeing the truth about our father.
I turn back to my dad but I see him running out the door. Before this he was pretending to listen with a smug look on his face.
I am winning! :D
So, I step forward without even planning and SLAP him! I tell him not to interrupt and not to bear false witness against your brother, and your elder. (I am the oldest)
He says that that was a good slap, and I am right. He is very conciliatory and happily surprised. He is finally seeing the truth about our father.
I turn back to my dad but I see him running out the door. Before this he was pretending to listen with a smug look on his face.
I am winning! :D
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Working The Dream, The Tale Of The Impossible Shower
Working The Dream
I am in a rather spacious room with peaceful muted colors. Off-white walls and light brown carpet and light you can safely read by but also see what you're doing. I am at a computer work-station with others. They are set up kind of like flower petals. Rounded bulbous tables, more than one per "stalk", these are white as well. The screens do not hurt your eyes, and there is a keyboard but you can also just talk if you like ... I think.
Is this a place for .... architects?
A woman comes to me (manager) and asks me very politely to come to her office. She is a brunette, white almost pale white, and um ... you know ... isn't a skinny minny.
we sit across from each other and talk. I mention that my badge seems incomplete for some reason, I don't know why. I hand it over to her, and she realizes what is missing. She picks up a red pen and starts writing on my badge. Well, that's a bit odd, but she is over me so *shrugs*. She hands it back to me. I see a large
"ID 7"
on it, and some words further down, all in red. I can't figure out why that is a single number, she says it isn't it's code for a two-two-four identity ("or is it a seven number ID" she says to herself). Then she sends me away from my usual station to be in a different section.
I am very excited to be in this other section! I feel very confident and in my full-power of determination and being able to be in any situation and work with it and make it better too!
BUT
I am slightly disappointed because I am not doing what I thought I was doing. I thought I was going to go out but I have to stay behind. While I'm working through my disappointment I am standing at a work-station and this guy is showing me pictures on the machine that are like montages and theme packages. He saves two of them and then asks for my badge and swipes it on the side like a Debit Card Reader. The files from my computer, including those two pictures e-mail and work documents are now saved on my ID badge.
I'm bored and my ennui isn't helping me get through my disappointment faster. I still do what I can. I see a Y shaped exit. It is two open doorways with one hallway going to the left, the other to the right, as if I were in the bottom stick-end of a capital Y. Well, I've never seen that before. I walk a short way down the left end and when I see a flashing and I am called into an office with 4 people in it, but I concentrate on only one of them.
They tell me something is wrong with my ID badge. I say my manger just looked at it. They ask if any pictures are stored there. I start to say no because I don't do that, but then I remember that guy put those 2 pictures on my ID.
He smiles and I hand him my badge so he can troubleshoot it.
He looks askance at the writing on it. I say my manager put it there. He says he doesn't know why, and he may have to get me a whole new badge. I asked that I not be charged for it, please, because it was not my fault.
The dream ends shortly after this, I forget the details and have added some as I am typing it but it is basically as-is.
But it seems to lead to the next one as I walk out the door into ...
***
The Tale Of The Impossible Shower
What does a guy have to do to simply get a shower around here?
This dream came directly after the office one above.
I walk down a hall and it feels more like an hotel or convention center something. I walk around this maze-like partition like two brackets | ___| --- |
I first see a floor like cement. It is in a large shallow bowl like depression with a drain in the center. On the edge is a faucet. So ... this is supposed to be like a bathtub? Doesn't look very comfortable and it looks like it's for more than one person.
I walk further in and I see water and stuff can come out of the walls, but again there are no partitions, no privacy, no chance to use single-stalls. I stare forlornly at this for a few moments, trying to figure out a way I can shower in private, or just dealing and doing it public, when I hear others coming in.
That decides it, I'm not showering with a bunch of strangers, I'm out of here!
I exit and look up and the sign up there on the maze-partition wall reads "WOMEN" with "ISRAEL" to the right of it. I must have come out the wrong entrance ... that means this isn't just a public shower but co-ed too!
Why is ISRAEL next to WOMEN?
What does Israel mean?
Is this the correct definition: "In the right path with god. One who prevails with God (Genesis 32:28)"
EL is GOD, as in the archangel names MichaEL, GabriEL, UriEL, RaphiEL ...
So, I walk out and I'm grumbling to myself about how hard is it to find a shower around here when someone calls me over, he's overheard me.
He is dressed slick and he is manning a turnstile by the stairs. He looks exactly like "Victor" in the TV show "Dollhouse".
He is saying for a small fee to pass through the turnstile, which he will pay on my behalf, he can lead me to a shower. Before I can say a word, he has unlocked the turnstile and I am going through. He points over to the left and says, "Walk this way, sir, for the time of your life." He continues walking that way and talking as if I am following him, but I'm not. I see he is leading me to a ... well, what to call it. Like a club with naked women in it and stuff, a strip club or Playboy club.
Whoa, I just want a private shower, I'm sure the girls are pretty and nice but I don't want lust right now, so I move to the right and on down a hallway with rooms on either side.
"Hey, hang on, if you aren't coming in you have to pay me for the turnstile!" He tries to find me, chasing after me down the other hallway. He starts knocking on doors, getting into rooms, harassing the occupants looking for me.
But I know I am safe, he will never find me. I swipe my ID badge next to door #7, step through the threshold, and that's when I wake up!
I am in a rather spacious room with peaceful muted colors. Off-white walls and light brown carpet and light you can safely read by but also see what you're doing. I am at a computer work-station with others. They are set up kind of like flower petals. Rounded bulbous tables, more than one per "stalk", these are white as well. The screens do not hurt your eyes, and there is a keyboard but you can also just talk if you like ... I think.
Is this a place for .... architects?
A woman comes to me (manager) and asks me very politely to come to her office. She is a brunette, white almost pale white, and um ... you know ... isn't a skinny minny.
we sit across from each other and talk. I mention that my badge seems incomplete for some reason, I don't know why. I hand it over to her, and she realizes what is missing. She picks up a red pen and starts writing on my badge. Well, that's a bit odd, but she is over me so *shrugs*. She hands it back to me. I see a large
"ID 7"
on it, and some words further down, all in red. I can't figure out why that is a single number, she says it isn't it's code for a two-two-four identity ("or is it a seven number ID" she says to herself). Then she sends me away from my usual station to be in a different section.
I am very excited to be in this other section! I feel very confident and in my full-power of determination and being able to be in any situation and work with it and make it better too!
BUT
I am slightly disappointed because I am not doing what I thought I was doing. I thought I was going to go out but I have to stay behind. While I'm working through my disappointment I am standing at a work-station and this guy is showing me pictures on the machine that are like montages and theme packages. He saves two of them and then asks for my badge and swipes it on the side like a Debit Card Reader. The files from my computer, including those two pictures e-mail and work documents are now saved on my ID badge.
I'm bored and my ennui isn't helping me get through my disappointment faster. I still do what I can. I see a Y shaped exit. It is two open doorways with one hallway going to the left, the other to the right, as if I were in the bottom stick-end of a capital Y. Well, I've never seen that before. I walk a short way down the left end and when I see a flashing and I am called into an office with 4 people in it, but I concentrate on only one of them.
They tell me something is wrong with my ID badge. I say my manger just looked at it. They ask if any pictures are stored there. I start to say no because I don't do that, but then I remember that guy put those 2 pictures on my ID.
He smiles and I hand him my badge so he can troubleshoot it.
He looks askance at the writing on it. I say my manager put it there. He says he doesn't know why, and he may have to get me a whole new badge. I asked that I not be charged for it, please, because it was not my fault.
The dream ends shortly after this, I forget the details and have added some as I am typing it but it is basically as-is.
But it seems to lead to the next one as I walk out the door into ...
***
The Tale Of The Impossible Shower
What does a guy have to do to simply get a shower around here?
This dream came directly after the office one above.
I walk down a hall and it feels more like an hotel or convention center something. I walk around this maze-like partition like two brackets | ___| --- |
I first see a floor like cement. It is in a large shallow bowl like depression with a drain in the center. On the edge is a faucet. So ... this is supposed to be like a bathtub? Doesn't look very comfortable and it looks like it's for more than one person.
I walk further in and I see water and stuff can come out of the walls, but again there are no partitions, no privacy, no chance to use single-stalls. I stare forlornly at this for a few moments, trying to figure out a way I can shower in private, or just dealing and doing it public, when I hear others coming in.
That decides it, I'm not showering with a bunch of strangers, I'm out of here!
I exit and look up and the sign up there on the maze-partition wall reads "WOMEN" with "ISRAEL" to the right of it. I must have come out the wrong entrance ... that means this isn't just a public shower but co-ed too!
Why is ISRAEL next to WOMEN?
What does Israel mean?
Is this the correct definition: "In the right path with god. One who prevails with God (Genesis 32:28)"
EL is GOD, as in the archangel names MichaEL, GabriEL, UriEL, RaphiEL ...
So, I walk out and I'm grumbling to myself about how hard is it to find a shower around here when someone calls me over, he's overheard me.
He is dressed slick and he is manning a turnstile by the stairs. He looks exactly like "Victor" in the TV show "Dollhouse".
He is saying for a small fee to pass through the turnstile, which he will pay on my behalf, he can lead me to a shower. Before I can say a word, he has unlocked the turnstile and I am going through. He points over to the left and says, "Walk this way, sir, for the time of your life." He continues walking that way and talking as if I am following him, but I'm not. I see he is leading me to a ... well, what to call it. Like a club with naked women in it and stuff, a strip club or Playboy club.
Whoa, I just want a private shower, I'm sure the girls are pretty and nice but I don't want lust right now, so I move to the right and on down a hallway with rooms on either side.
"Hey, hang on, if you aren't coming in you have to pay me for the turnstile!" He tries to find me, chasing after me down the other hallway. He starts knocking on doors, getting into rooms, harassing the occupants looking for me.
But I know I am safe, he will never find me. I swipe my ID badge next to door #7, step through the threshold, and that's when I wake up!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
A Spy In The House Of Love
note: This title is taken from an episode of "DOLLHOUSE"
I am some kind of spy. I can gather intel. or collate it from other sources in the field. I have and need help. But, right now, I'm practically on my own. This is the final bit of work that needs to be done. I know what to do and I can improvise and roll with the punches!
I walk into the first floor, on through one set of 7 double-doors. But only one will get me through properly, all the others are fake.
I'm in!
I see that this seems to be some kind of study area or cafeteria for a school. I see adults and children (young teens?). I walk right up to one of the men and ask questions as I get close enough for some spy detail work. I choose my body language, tone of voice, and word choice perfectly to illicit information and not be noticed too much.
As I walk towards the back, towards the elevators, I am surprised to see someone I know.
"Sam? Samantha Carr?"
"Yes. Oh hi!"
I am confused because she does not look like her FaceBook picture at all. Plus she's much younger! I get a picture of her FB picture in my head inside the dream.
She has very short hair that is a pale yellow that almost matches the color of her skin. Her hair is very close to her scalp, or is in short bunches of braids, it's hard to tell.
Once I move from her table (she was surrounded by other people), I head straight to the elevators. But at that table there was a change ... for now my clothes are different. I was wearing a suit. Now I am wearing a long sleeve pale blue button-down dress shirt and shorts (or boxers, but I'm pretty sure they are shorts). As I get in the elevator I try to figure out this new dress, eventually I pull the shirt out of my pants so it is not tucked in any more. I think I want to hide the shorts, I'm not sure.
I go to push my button but see it is already pushed. I am in with young adults now: mid-twenties to thirties.
On the ride up (was I going to the 50th floor? I wish I could remember the number of the floor), one of the ladies eyes me up and down with a smile and asks something like "giving or receiving". I forget the phrase but it was opposites like that. With complete confidence I say "giving mainly, but also receiving. I am quite the popular one!"
"Mmm, I just bet you are," she returns.
...
Eventually it's my floor. I walk forward with zero fear and zero doubt, absolutely confident in my task and how to do it no matter what.
My mission: so, what was my mission anyway? What was I to accomplish? I am not sure, but I have some ideas. I was going into this place and I was going to set things right. Either they were going to listen to my sage advice and follow ti and fix things or I was going to make them "pay" justice. One way or another, this place was going to be cleaned up and from this point forward do right or do no more.
WHAT kind of place was this?:
Bottom floor was full of people hungry for knowledge or starving from lack of real food for thought. A place of study, where they could study things but they were also meant to study themselves. It was also a place where I could study them. They could not fathom me because I was Higher Knowledge ... or a better observer or knower of the truth or something I don't really know.
I don't know the difference between the adults and the kids.
At the top floor was like an escort or dating service? It was hard to tell.
more later, maybe! for now, off to work!
I am some kind of spy. I can gather intel. or collate it from other sources in the field. I have and need help. But, right now, I'm practically on my own. This is the final bit of work that needs to be done. I know what to do and I can improvise and roll with the punches!
I walk into the first floor, on through one set of 7 double-doors. But only one will get me through properly, all the others are fake.
I'm in!
I see that this seems to be some kind of study area or cafeteria for a school. I see adults and children (young teens?). I walk right up to one of the men and ask questions as I get close enough for some spy detail work. I choose my body language, tone of voice, and word choice perfectly to illicit information and not be noticed too much.
As I walk towards the back, towards the elevators, I am surprised to see someone I know.
"Sam? Samantha Carr?"
"Yes. Oh hi!"
I am confused because she does not look like her FaceBook picture at all. Plus she's much younger! I get a picture of her FB picture in my head inside the dream.
She has very short hair that is a pale yellow that almost matches the color of her skin. Her hair is very close to her scalp, or is in short bunches of braids, it's hard to tell.
Once I move from her table (she was surrounded by other people), I head straight to the elevators. But at that table there was a change ... for now my clothes are different. I was wearing a suit. Now I am wearing a long sleeve pale blue button-down dress shirt and shorts (or boxers, but I'm pretty sure they are shorts). As I get in the elevator I try to figure out this new dress, eventually I pull the shirt out of my pants so it is not tucked in any more. I think I want to hide the shorts, I'm not sure.
I go to push my button but see it is already pushed. I am in with young adults now: mid-twenties to thirties.
On the ride up (was I going to the 50th floor? I wish I could remember the number of the floor), one of the ladies eyes me up and down with a smile and asks something like "giving or receiving". I forget the phrase but it was opposites like that. With complete confidence I say "giving mainly, but also receiving. I am quite the popular one!"
"Mmm, I just bet you are," she returns.
...
Eventually it's my floor. I walk forward with zero fear and zero doubt, absolutely confident in my task and how to do it no matter what.
My mission: so, what was my mission anyway? What was I to accomplish? I am not sure, but I have some ideas. I was going into this place and I was going to set things right. Either they were going to listen to my sage advice and follow ti and fix things or I was going to make them "pay" justice. One way or another, this place was going to be cleaned up and from this point forward do right or do no more.
WHAT kind of place was this?:
Bottom floor was full of people hungry for knowledge or starving from lack of real food for thought. A place of study, where they could study things but they were also meant to study themselves. It was also a place where I could study them. They could not fathom me because I was Higher Knowledge ... or a better observer or knower of the truth or something I don't really know.
I don't know the difference between the adults and the kids.
At the top floor was like an escort or dating service? It was hard to tell.
more later, maybe! for now, off to work!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Topsy-Kurly, Under Where?
Topsy Kurly
First off, to explain the title. Another online friend calls me "Kurly" and this is meant to be a play on the phrase "Topsy Turvy" of course.
Apparently I am in KC because the name pops up in the dream, but I'm not sure where. I am sitting in a room with a friend from URU. Er, Norway. But I don't know her or call her by her real-world name, but as her URU name! So I didn't call her "Yngvil", I call her "Topsy", and she goes by that name as well! :p
She's sitting in this big comfy chair in front and to the right of mine. She's saying how glad she is to have come here. To America? I ask. No, specifically here, with me. She says she now knows where she came from!
She tells stories of how her essence entered this plane of existence first in KC here, then drifted off elsewhere to be actually born, but now returning here she feels more of a kinship here.
She has different version of her story, or I get clearer answers with follow up questions? All I can recall is the last version. She said something like "I came as a rain drop and I fell softly into that one fountain you showed me and entered the KC water supply."
"But .... I thought you were from Norway, weren't you born there?" I asked curiously.
Slightly agitated, she answers, "Yes, eventually I made my way to the place where I was physically born. But for all intents and purposes I was truly born here."
Meanwhile I sometimes had a book in my lap, and a pen. I was trying to look things up and record things, too. This seemed like a book of my friends, it had their faces and info in it. I was trying to find hers. At the same time, I didn't want to "cheat", I wanted to be able to recall her naturally PLUS she was sitting right there! :D I realized a truth about me was that I was still in shock that she was actually here with me, no longer somewhere else online. So I got a bit anxious then.
I was happy and relaxed to have her over, but once I thought of that stuff, I got a bit nervous and awkward and I felt I was going to be stupid and ask stupid questions and not be observant or relaxed and stuff, which is what happens to me in real life.
I say things like "so ..... you're "Topsy", right? T-o-p-s-y?" You hadn't told me your name when you came in, you just said my name with a big smile on your face and pulled me into a big long hug. I knew you WERE Topsy, but I was nervous now.
"Yes, I'm Topsy." and you said it with an edge of exasperation and hurt in your voice.
But I realized that a kind of "joke" to tell you. I told you "My name is Kurly, so now together we are Topsy Kurly!" We got a big laugh out of that and things got relaxed again and I put my book down and the dream ended as you came to sit in my chair with me.
That was really nice!
***
I don't remember much from this next dream, but I was tired of where I was living with people (family?) and at the end of the dream I was packing up to go, mainly my clothes.
I mention this because it bled into my next dream ...
Under Where?
So now I am in a room. It is a combination of a hotel room, apartment, or part of a house, but MAINLY a very nice hotel room.
I unpack and put my stuff away, mainly clothes but a few other things. I go to bed, but I can't go to sleep right away. I can hear other people for one thing. For another I realize I don't even know what time it is here! So I roll over in the bed to the edge to find some kind of clock. All I see is a modern cordless phone standing up in a stand.
Man this phone is teched out! But simple! It is thin. The screen has all kinds of options on it, but all I want is the time and I am having trouble concentrating and finding the time. I think I finally find it and it says 2:22 AM. NOW I have to figure out how to make it into a wake-up alarm, lol!
So, eventually the phone wakes me up, and i go for a shower. I saw to myself "Boy, this shower really is a show-er!" Because all the walls were clear so anybody could see me. Is that ... water running through the walls? But, I don't have time for modesty, I have to shower! So, I shower and dry myself and wrap a towel around me. Now i see people outside, so I'm nervous. I try to hunker down, and walk that way sometimes. I am looking for my underwear, but I can't seem to find it. I look out the front door and realize I left a satchel out there on the steps!
So I go out there to look inside it, but now there are two young women on the steps, in the way of my bag. I am trying to step around them and quietly open my bag,and at first they are just doing their own thing. (note I am not sure what I'm wearing at this moment, feels like more than just a towel but I'm not sure). The girl in front of my bag giggles at me and asks what I need. I said I need what's under there and pointed towards my bag. "Under where?" she asked, I answered "Underwear, exactly!" and I showed her that I wasn't dressed yet and she got a big laugh out of that. So, she offered to help me look in my bag.
She giggled even more then. "Are you sure this is your bag?" Then she opened up a roomy side pouch and showed me there was only a bunch of panties! I was so shocked and embarrassed, I told her I had MY underwear in there, "she must have put these in here when I wasn't looking." and the young woman laughed and said "no, I put mine in here when you weren't looking. This is my bag, silly!"
First off, to explain the title. Another online friend calls me "Kurly" and this is meant to be a play on the phrase "Topsy Turvy" of course.
Apparently I am in KC because the name pops up in the dream, but I'm not sure where. I am sitting in a room with a friend from URU. Er, Norway. But I don't know her or call her by her real-world name, but as her URU name! So I didn't call her "Yngvil", I call her "Topsy", and she goes by that name as well! :p
She's sitting in this big comfy chair in front and to the right of mine. She's saying how glad she is to have come here. To America? I ask. No, specifically here, with me. She says she now knows where she came from!
She tells stories of how her essence entered this plane of existence first in KC here, then drifted off elsewhere to be actually born, but now returning here she feels more of a kinship here.
She has different version of her story, or I get clearer answers with follow up questions? All I can recall is the last version. She said something like "I came as a rain drop and I fell softly into that one fountain you showed me and entered the KC water supply."
"But .... I thought you were from Norway, weren't you born there?" I asked curiously.
Slightly agitated, she answers, "Yes, eventually I made my way to the place where I was physically born. But for all intents and purposes I was truly born here."
Meanwhile I sometimes had a book in my lap, and a pen. I was trying to look things up and record things, too. This seemed like a book of my friends, it had their faces and info in it. I was trying to find hers. At the same time, I didn't want to "cheat", I wanted to be able to recall her naturally PLUS she was sitting right there! :D I realized a truth about me was that I was still in shock that she was actually here with me, no longer somewhere else online. So I got a bit anxious then.
I was happy and relaxed to have her over, but once I thought of that stuff, I got a bit nervous and awkward and I felt I was going to be stupid and ask stupid questions and not be observant or relaxed and stuff, which is what happens to me in real life.
I say things like "so ..... you're "Topsy", right? T-o-p-s-y?" You hadn't told me your name when you came in, you just said my name with a big smile on your face and pulled me into a big long hug. I knew you WERE Topsy, but I was nervous now.
"Yes, I'm Topsy." and you said it with an edge of exasperation and hurt in your voice.
But I realized that a kind of "joke" to tell you. I told you "My name is Kurly, so now together we are Topsy Kurly!" We got a big laugh out of that and things got relaxed again and I put my book down and the dream ended as you came to sit in my chair with me.
That was really nice!
***
I don't remember much from this next dream, but I was tired of where I was living with people (family?) and at the end of the dream I was packing up to go, mainly my clothes.
I mention this because it bled into my next dream ...
Under Where?
So now I am in a room. It is a combination of a hotel room, apartment, or part of a house, but MAINLY a very nice hotel room.
I unpack and put my stuff away, mainly clothes but a few other things. I go to bed, but I can't go to sleep right away. I can hear other people for one thing. For another I realize I don't even know what time it is here! So I roll over in the bed to the edge to find some kind of clock. All I see is a modern cordless phone standing up in a stand.
Man this phone is teched out! But simple! It is thin. The screen has all kinds of options on it, but all I want is the time and I am having trouble concentrating and finding the time. I think I finally find it and it says 2:22 AM. NOW I have to figure out how to make it into a wake-up alarm, lol!
So, eventually the phone wakes me up, and i go for a shower. I saw to myself "Boy, this shower really is a show-er!" Because all the walls were clear so anybody could see me. Is that ... water running through the walls? But, I don't have time for modesty, I have to shower! So, I shower and dry myself and wrap a towel around me. Now i see people outside, so I'm nervous. I try to hunker down, and walk that way sometimes. I am looking for my underwear, but I can't seem to find it. I look out the front door and realize I left a satchel out there on the steps!
So I go out there to look inside it, but now there are two young women on the steps, in the way of my bag. I am trying to step around them and quietly open my bag,and at first they are just doing their own thing. (note I am not sure what I'm wearing at this moment, feels like more than just a towel but I'm not sure). The girl in front of my bag giggles at me and asks what I need. I said I need what's under there and pointed towards my bag. "Under where?" she asked, I answered "Underwear, exactly!" and I showed her that I wasn't dressed yet and she got a big laugh out of that. So, she offered to help me look in my bag.
She giggled even more then. "Are you sure this is your bag?" Then she opened up a roomy side pouch and showed me there was only a bunch of panties! I was so shocked and embarrassed, I told her I had MY underwear in there, "she must have put these in here when I wasn't looking." and the young woman laughed and said "no, I put mine in here when you weren't looking. This is my bag, silly!"
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
BOL, Lucky Foot Coin
BOL
I was with a guy and a girl. We were out in the sunshine it was a nice Spring day. We were on a slight incline on a mountain with light green on it. There were three wires, like steel cables.
The girl was trying to balance on one of the wires and doing a great job of it when this Ball of Light appeared floating in the sky towards us.
The girl didn't really take much notice of it. She started getting worried and upset and afraid, and the BOL came right down on her and enveloped her!
Then it quietly left and hovered in the sky. It can change shape color and form. It now looks like a black & white soccer (Football) ball!
She said it was nice and good and she felt better, but she didn't want to do that again. She wasn't ready for it.
I volunteered, because it felt OK to me not vampiric or anything. Do, I went out and balanced on the wire. Firstly, in real life I have crap balance, but here I was able to balance with no effort. Then I breathed in and out like yoga and I asked that only if the BOL were non-vampiric and good could it come to me. It enveloped me. I was not straight now, I was either leaning backwards or forwards (I forget which now that I am awake) and it was like a shower! It was cleansing me! It was cleansing my aura and my mind heart and soul. It felt great.
It got offa me and I thanked it and copy pasted some of my energy to it. It happy zipped back into the sky.
****
Lucky Foot Coin
I find a coin in my apartment like place. Before I did I was getting all this bad luck. But as soon as I pick this coin up, all those bad luck things start to turn around to good luck,and more good things happen!
MEANWHILE a woman is sad because she lost her lucky coin. Someone is talking to her comforting her. She says it has something to do with her foot. Like she rubbed it on her foot to make it lucky or something? She is sad because this coin is gone. The Comforter tells her it's OK, don't be sad or greedy, now someone else in need can use the coin. And she can make a new one now. She tried it did not work. Well try now, the timing wasn't right. She tried, it worked! She held her palms together and saw a time where she had a coin in them, and one appeared! She rubbed them first on her corns and they went away.
I was with a guy and a girl. We were out in the sunshine it was a nice Spring day. We were on a slight incline on a mountain with light green on it. There were three wires, like steel cables.
The girl was trying to balance on one of the wires and doing a great job of it when this Ball of Light appeared floating in the sky towards us.
The girl didn't really take much notice of it. She started getting worried and upset and afraid, and the BOL came right down on her and enveloped her!
Then it quietly left and hovered in the sky. It can change shape color and form. It now looks like a black & white soccer (Football) ball!
She said it was nice and good and she felt better, but she didn't want to do that again. She wasn't ready for it.
I volunteered, because it felt OK to me not vampiric or anything. Do, I went out and balanced on the wire. Firstly, in real life I have crap balance, but here I was able to balance with no effort. Then I breathed in and out like yoga and I asked that only if the BOL were non-vampiric and good could it come to me. It enveloped me. I was not straight now, I was either leaning backwards or forwards (I forget which now that I am awake) and it was like a shower! It was cleansing me! It was cleansing my aura and my mind heart and soul. It felt great.
It got offa me and I thanked it and copy pasted some of my energy to it. It happy zipped back into the sky.
****
Lucky Foot Coin
I find a coin in my apartment like place. Before I did I was getting all this bad luck. But as soon as I pick this coin up, all those bad luck things start to turn around to good luck,and more good things happen!
MEANWHILE a woman is sad because she lost her lucky coin. Someone is talking to her comforting her. She says it has something to do with her foot. Like she rubbed it on her foot to make it lucky or something? She is sad because this coin is gone. The Comforter tells her it's OK, don't be sad or greedy, now someone else in need can use the coin. And she can make a new one now. She tried it did not work. Well try now, the timing wasn't right. She tried, it worked! She held her palms together and saw a time where she had a coin in them, and one appeared! She rubbed them first on her corns and they went away.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Hotel Room Clean-up
I had many DreamZZZ last night, and I was again hoping to recall any times I went to help in Haiti, but alas again I am unable to recall anything like that. I hope I'm going, just not remembering. :(
I only have tatters of the ones before. Like one centered around a building. Around the perimeter were ledges of differing heights. I was walking along side another guy when he seemed to fall as we were talking. But he was out of my sight, so it took me a moment to get him in sight again. When I did, he was just fine. That's good because I did not want him to be hurt.
I don't know who he was, but he kind of looked like "Noah Bennett" from the TV show "HEROES".
***
Hotel Room Clean-up
I am in a nice but small hotel room. There is a spacious bedroom with 2 beds in it with enough space between them (another bed could almost fit), a long closet that took up an entire wall, and a spacious bathroom with many amenities BUT I didn't get to go in so I do not know the details.
I think the beds had a patterened red bedspread. Red with thin white figures on it. A repeating pattern like bedspreads have. I don't recall any windows and the beds faced the door which was more on the left side of that wall.
I think when I was first in there, other people were with me. 2-4 others. There were a lot of items inside the room all over the place. In the closet, on top of dressers and night stands, etc.
Now I have two goals. 1) I want to leave the room and go somewhere else (I forget where, but it did not seem to be at an appointed time) 2) straighten this place up before I left.
First thing I do is to try to make myself comfortable for all this moving around. I take my wallet out of my pocket and place it on a dresser. There are other important items there too, like keys and the hotel room key and an iPod. I go around in clean-mode. I look to put things in order, throw some things away, and take some things with me.
Soon I notice that the front door is open. There is a young woman standing out in the hallway looking into this room. I seem to accept her presence. She has dark brown (maybe black?) wavy hair that is sometimes loose and sometimes pulled back into a bun. She is wearing glasses. Her face is like a fairy goes through my dreaming mind, like a rounded heart shape with a cleft chin and her eyes seem bigger than they are physically. They do not look big, but they draw you in and seem to contain worlds and knowledge and mirth. But her aspect was calm. She just stood there. She did not scare me. She was slender, too. We were comfortable with each other.
I asked her if I was in her way. She replied I could take my time, that I was on her way. She seems matter-of-fact.
It also seems that this may be her room, too.
I only have tatters of the ones before. Like one centered around a building. Around the perimeter were ledges of differing heights. I was walking along side another guy when he seemed to fall as we were talking. But he was out of my sight, so it took me a moment to get him in sight again. When I did, he was just fine. That's good because I did not want him to be hurt.
I don't know who he was, but he kind of looked like "Noah Bennett" from the TV show "HEROES".
***
Hotel Room Clean-up
I am in a nice but small hotel room. There is a spacious bedroom with 2 beds in it with enough space between them (another bed could almost fit), a long closet that took up an entire wall, and a spacious bathroom with many amenities BUT I didn't get to go in so I do not know the details.
I think the beds had a patterened red bedspread. Red with thin white figures on it. A repeating pattern like bedspreads have. I don't recall any windows and the beds faced the door which was more on the left side of that wall.
I think when I was first in there, other people were with me. 2-4 others. There were a lot of items inside the room all over the place. In the closet, on top of dressers and night stands, etc.
Now I have two goals. 1) I want to leave the room and go somewhere else (I forget where, but it did not seem to be at an appointed time) 2) straighten this place up before I left.
First thing I do is to try to make myself comfortable for all this moving around. I take my wallet out of my pocket and place it on a dresser. There are other important items there too, like keys and the hotel room key and an iPod. I go around in clean-mode. I look to put things in order, throw some things away, and take some things with me.
Soon I notice that the front door is open. There is a young woman standing out in the hallway looking into this room. I seem to accept her presence. She has dark brown (maybe black?) wavy hair that is sometimes loose and sometimes pulled back into a bun. She is wearing glasses. Her face is like a fairy goes through my dreaming mind, like a rounded heart shape with a cleft chin and her eyes seem bigger than they are physically. They do not look big, but they draw you in and seem to contain worlds and knowledge and mirth. But her aspect was calm. She just stood there. She did not scare me. She was slender, too. We were comfortable with each other.
I asked her if I was in her way. She replied I could take my time, that I was on her way. She seems matter-of-fact.
It also seems that this may be her room, too.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Dreams Repeat Twice - Gill Tank & more
My DreamZZZ kept repeating tonight. Always twice, with slight variations in the second version, and they were not right after each other.
1) Gill Tank
I had dreams about a fish, I forget one of them, but I do recall some from one.
There was this guy talking to me about what another person (male?) did and was questioning in a judging manner. He wanted me to look at this fish tank and I did. I saw one medium sized fish in there and maybe other fish were there too but I focused on the one, mainly like a gold fish. It was in the middle, calm. The water looked clear. The tank was roughly the size and shape of a computer "tower".
He calls it a "gill tank", and it is meant to be used as a temporary place to keep the fish when you are cleaning it's tank. It is also specially designed to clean the fish and other things. But it is meant to be a place you put it until its original tank was ready again, and this person was complaining because the fish owner was usign it as the ONLY tank.
I've never heard of a Gill Tank, sounds like a cool idea, though!
***
2) School Class - Cultural Anthropology & Tardiness
I got in a few minutes late right when the teacher was finishing up getting everybody settled down. I see a pretty sweet smart looking girl, who I thought was also shy, looking at me and smiling at me with the most warm and caring smile I've ever seen. It makes me anxious (what do I do?) but calm (it's all good - from her eyes and smile) at the same time. But then I had to concentrate on the teacher.
****
The second one there is a tall thin white guy with an accent and a kind of grayish-beige duffel-bag backpack thing. He is flusterated, I try to help him. It calms him down and he thanks me. We go into the classroom and we're late. The class is already underway. We scramble to get out out pen notebook and textbook. As I was flipping through I saw a chapter on Dental Hygiene with a wide open mouth full of teeth.
3) Couple On The Run
This is another repeater. In the second one, I am with this girl. This dream is full of mistrust and fear under the surface. There is a Most Wanted couple, and this other guy who may be her brother who is bigger than I am (taller bulkier fatter) comes into the bed room saying he is suspicious that i am the guy in the photo and he wants to turn me in and get me away from his sister. I am innocent and try to tell him. One way is by showing that this guy has a lot of money he got illegally and spent it on a lot of nice things. I showed him my cheap zero frills cell phone. It took awhile, but I think he left convinced to wait for more evidence.
Soon there after the authorities come in. They tell the girl to get on her knees. She says "Idiots. You are hurting yourselves trying to stop us. What you are doing to change to stop us with violence and force is doing far more damage than our act s are, and that is the real damage we want!"
I can't believe it, she's the one in the picture? They have the brother too and it turns out he is not related, but her partner in crime. I'm scared because I am close to this girl and him. But the authorities don't seem to pay me much mind. I don't know what to do so I just try to remain as calm and observant as I can.
3) Movie Info
Another double. Basically this tall thin black guy with mini-dreads (like corn rows but not) comes to the side of me on the road, asking me about an up coming movie. I have the stub so I answer his questions and help him. I am a bit wary of him but help him and I'm nice and nothing bad happens.
1) Gill Tank
I had dreams about a fish, I forget one of them, but I do recall some from one.
There was this guy talking to me about what another person (male?) did and was questioning in a judging manner. He wanted me to look at this fish tank and I did. I saw one medium sized fish in there and maybe other fish were there too but I focused on the one, mainly like a gold fish. It was in the middle, calm. The water looked clear. The tank was roughly the size and shape of a computer "tower".
He calls it a "gill tank", and it is meant to be used as a temporary place to keep the fish when you are cleaning it's tank. It is also specially designed to clean the fish and other things. But it is meant to be a place you put it until its original tank was ready again, and this person was complaining because the fish owner was usign it as the ONLY tank.
I've never heard of a Gill Tank, sounds like a cool idea, though!
***
2) School Class - Cultural Anthropology & Tardiness
I got in a few minutes late right when the teacher was finishing up getting everybody settled down. I see a pretty sweet smart looking girl, who I thought was also shy, looking at me and smiling at me with the most warm and caring smile I've ever seen. It makes me anxious (what do I do?) but calm (it's all good - from her eyes and smile) at the same time. But then I had to concentrate on the teacher.
****
The second one there is a tall thin white guy with an accent and a kind of grayish-beige duffel-bag backpack thing. He is flusterated, I try to help him. It calms him down and he thanks me. We go into the classroom and we're late. The class is already underway. We scramble to get out out pen notebook and textbook. As I was flipping through I saw a chapter on Dental Hygiene with a wide open mouth full of teeth.
3) Couple On The Run
This is another repeater. In the second one, I am with this girl. This dream is full of mistrust and fear under the surface. There is a Most Wanted couple, and this other guy who may be her brother who is bigger than I am (taller bulkier fatter) comes into the bed room saying he is suspicious that i am the guy in the photo and he wants to turn me in and get me away from his sister. I am innocent and try to tell him. One way is by showing that this guy has a lot of money he got illegally and spent it on a lot of nice things. I showed him my cheap zero frills cell phone. It took awhile, but I think he left convinced to wait for more evidence.
Soon there after the authorities come in. They tell the girl to get on her knees. She says "Idiots. You are hurting yourselves trying to stop us. What you are doing to change to stop us with violence and force is doing far more damage than our act s are, and that is the real damage we want!"
I can't believe it, she's the one in the picture? They have the brother too and it turns out he is not related, but her partner in crime. I'm scared because I am close to this girl and him. But the authorities don't seem to pay me much mind. I don't know what to do so I just try to remain as calm and observant as I can.
3) Movie Info
Another double. Basically this tall thin black guy with mini-dreads (like corn rows but not) comes to the side of me on the road, asking me about an up coming movie. I have the stub so I answer his questions and help him. I am a bit wary of him but help him and I'm nice and nothing bad happens.
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