Meeting with Cafeteria Line

I had asked this girl to join me at this meeting, but she hasn't shown up yet. There are all these small tables set up and I got here early enough to pick the best one. But, for some reason it is not at the front, but it is in the very back right next to a now-empty cafeteria/buffet line set up.
This does not seem to be a normal meeting. More like a fun lecture, not school or seminar exactly, but something else, I don't really know.
I'm waiting for the woman, trying to occupy myself, but it isn't entirely working.
I feel alone, depressed, mostly.
Now she shows up. She is slightly taller than me and blonde and (younger than me maybe hard to tell if she wasn't she was mature for her age but didn't look it with her skin).
I light up when I see her and she smiles right back.
Now lots more people are coming in. So, we decide to go ahead and get in line for the food. It is a long metal heated sneeze-guarded table on wheels, two of them at least. I go in line and assume she is fight behind me. I say something for her to hear, but when I turn to see her reaction, she's not there.
*sigh* :( OK then.
I get a small white plate. I think I get a napkin/silverware bundle too. I start to go down the food line, looking for what I want to get for my first trip.
One dish catches my eye. It looks like a large oval pot pie like thing. It has just the tiniest scoop taken out of it on the middle of the side facing slightly diagonal but to the right. Since I am first in line and the food has only now appeared, I wonder how that one small piece got taken. Furthermore, there is no serving utensil next to it! So, I look for one and put one next to it.
But when I did that I lost my plate and my place in line, and suddenly there are even more people in line! I look for the plate I had even tho it was empty, so I could just get a new plate but at first I wanted the plate I had picked out, just to be tidy I guess. Why leave an empty plate sitting there? But I think someone else picked it up, so I got another, no big deal.
I wonder why there are only these small plates and not the regular size dinner plates. This is more for a small salad, did I miss the big plates?
I get to the deserts, and still my plate is empty. One pie in particular catches my eye. It is a chocolate cream one with whipped cream on top and chocolate syrup dripping in lines on top of that and it has an Oreo crust. I get myself a small slice of that and put it in my plate. I can't wait to get a bite! It looks so yummy!

But this happens when I've already woken up in real life and then was to tired ot get up so tried to go back to sleep, so when a dream continues after that I am half-suspect and try to separate it from the rest of the dream because often I get interpretations from the dream and I do not know if they are correct so I will often add in fantasies or depression so the dream changes track a little or a lot.

So here is the rest of it after I woke up and tried to reenter sleep:
Then the woman shows up behind me in line. But between her and I there is now a man. He is all gushing about me and says "so, are you the co-worker my fiancee talks about all the time? If she hadn't said yes to my proposal I'd be jealous of you right now, hahaha. Just don't become her secretary, OK? hahaha" He was so nice and congenial and good-natured and anti-jealous and nice and good-looking too that I just wanted to be struck by lightening right then and there. And to think I felt depressed before! I smiled and laughed at his jokes and took his outstretched hand to shake.
But I didn't want my dessert anymore.
And I didn't want to talk to them, to her, anymore.
And I didn't want to be there anymore.
But I knew later when he left and it was just her and I again I would want the desert again
and I would want her to talk to me and smile at me again
and I wouldn't mind being there

but that was wrong of me, and just plain ridiculous, so

***

INTERPRETATION:

So. If the second part was part of the dream, then it must mean my train-wreck of a dating life so far. EXCEPT THE PIE PART. That could be interpreted wrong. I suppose part of it could mean I just want to skip to the good stuff. One way to interpret that could mean sex. I guess, but I am not a pervert male chauvinist dog so I don't see women as only sexual objects so it isn't to be interpreted that way. But I am a Taurus and I do enjoy luxury.
So I think the desert more represents wanting to have the good stuff in general.
But it was a chocolate pie. Chocolate is full of endorphins which is like sex. So I don't think I can completely deny that in the dream I am sexually attracted to this woman and must feel that she is with me and I'm comfortable with that.
But chocolate is a good thing. It symbolizes self-reward. OH, maybe not such a good thing. I feel I must reward myself because others won't reward me. OH! Maybe it means I think I have to self-reward myself for two reasons with this girl: to feel like I won't burden her with my needing to be rewarded (could just mean praise or positive attention) or I don't think she can like me enough or I will disappoint her or she will disappoint me or something. So might as well just reward myself. Which is me cheating her of the opportunity to try to reward me. I tend to sabotage it when people do reward me because I'm so used to family friends and church doing that to me.
From Dreammoods I also get: "To see a tasty dessert in your dream, represents indulgence, celebration, reward, or temptation. You are enjoying the good things in life"
also this: To see a pie in your dream, symbolizes that there will be some reward for your hard work. It also indicates that perhaps you are reaching beyond your abilities. Alternatively, it may be a metaphor for getting your fair share, as in your "piece of the pie".
Which just fascinates me!
BECAUSE
in the dream I see two pies actually. and that is the only food I see when there could be lots more!
And they are BOTH PIES. There is the chocolate pie and before that is the pot-pie.
AND I noticed that a piece of the pie was missing and I didn't see anybody in front of me, so really that was my piece of the pie! I feel like someoen took my piece of the pie but further more that my piece of the pie wasn't there for me to take. It's not like I saw someone take it, it was just plain gone.

That is what I feel like, exactly. Like my piece of the pie is not there, it's missing, and I don't know what to do about it. But why did I then get a piece of chocolate pie on my plate? BECAUSE since I think my piece of the pie is gone (the good kind with almost all the food groups in it like veggies and meet and bread) I'll just move to self-rewarding instead with the chocolate dessert.

Well, crap! IF that is true, and it seems so, how do I go about fixing that? Was a solution in my dream? Was it there but I woke up too soon? Was it in the second part?

I didn't stop at realizing my piece of the pie was missing. I was aghast and wondering, but eventually I took action to get a serving spoon. None was provided. Instead of giving up or asking for help, I did it myself. I got it not only for me but for the rest of the line.
But then I found myself crowded away from that pie and I couldn't get back to it and I even had trouble getting back my empty plate, I don't even know if i got it back!

So, that tells me it's not entirely my fault and it's not like I'm not trying to fix the situation ... don't you think?

yeah that will do for now.

Quiet Listener, Judas Kiss?, Sprited Kitchen, Lightning-Struck Toilet

I am in a work type place. I am listening, quietly. I know what they are talking about, but they don't know that. So, they keep talking thinking I don't know, but I do. The final pieces fall into place and what I felt/was told is now about to take place.

I am sitting down across from my dad now. We're talking about stuff. Soon I am telling him things I heard from the dream before. He's very interested. Then, wary, he wants to know how I could know some things, apparently it links to him. He just told me another vital piece of information. I suspected it linked to him, but he has just told me it does. I didn't have to do anything. He switches from wariness to telling me that I got it from quietly observing and I'm a genius. Then he leans forward and kisses me on the mouth.
-blinks- uh-oh, was that a bad thing?

I am in a living room. I am in an office swivel rolling chair. To my left is the kitchen with a white swinging door that is closed. Right in front of me, on a bed or something, is someone like my brother.
I hear noise coming from the kitchen, but only we are here. I know it isn't animals. I know it is ghosts or spirits or Negs or something. My brother acknowledges that he hears the noises too.
Suddenly there is a big bang and I feel a rush come at me. I don't feel possessed or anything, but i do feel paralyzed. I can't talk. I try to tell my brother what is happening, but i can't. After a few moments, I manage to eek out a single word, his name, and I find myself pushing myself towards him with my feet pulling the rolling chair forward.

I hear another commotion, but this time from above me. I wake up and find myself in bed. Oh, must be the upstairs neighbors. I decide since I am awake anyway, might as well go to the bathroom. I get to the toilet and lift up the top lid when I notice an oddity. The right side near the back has a charred melted hole through it. I drop the top lid and see it does too. Then I look up at the ceiling and see a small melted charred scar there as well. I then hear the upstairs neighbor's arguing again.
Hey, wait a minute, I say, this is a dream not real! I wonder if I can explore this!

But I can't because that is when I wake up for real.

Anthology: Leave Home eep Come Back yay, Outdoor Festival Turns Dark, Sucubus Nightmare

Lots of dreams, lots of little stories, little scenes:



I am in a car, I am returning to a place I was in an earlier dream tonight, but this time it is from a different angle. It seems like such a nice place. Simple but nice! White walls, nice windows, sunlight shining upon the white bright and shiny! It's like a small hotel. Lots of greenery, flowers, both in front of the building and in the median.
When I was there before, it was inside a residence, coming down to the garage all inside into a basement like garage where my car was. I felt creeped out like someone was waiting for me so I put my keys in between my fingers and decided to talk to no one no matter what until I was in my car. I didn't feel completely safe until I was out and on the road, phew!
This time it felt the opposite. Light, open, safe. And slow! The traffic was slow as I moved in the parking lot road to my garage but I didn't mind, I felt great!



I am at a festival. It is outside, in a short-grass meadow surrounded on either side by hump-like hills with some tree. Lots of tents and a more permanent building, lots of people, lots of things to do and see! There food, games, dancing, shopping, it was a blast!
But now it's night. I find myself walking towards the field. I am not even half-way to the hill yet. It is dark, the shadows play. I hear a loud bass sound .... it is far away, but coming closer. Then it cuts off. I have to run the few feet between me and the first hump-hill. I make it, and I hide up in a tree. I wait. I hope I am not found as hooded shadows, spiky and gnarly with jumpy chaotic energy that pulls in more than it lets out like black holes, as they come towards me and start to pass under my tree but stop ... don't hear the bass of my heart beat don't hear my breathing more like wheezing, don't let my sweat drop on you, don't smell my fear and doubt, just keep walking .. and they do!



I am not so successful in the next scene. I am in a dull concrete room. I know it is far underground, under Colorado. Finally the end of the experiment, last stage! Then testing can begin. This item before me was inside a miles upon miles long circle spinning and spinning and spinning.
Now it's been placed inside this "unbreakable" box, we can see inside, it is also lit from within. We are all males, all middle-age and older, nerdy or stony looking, scientists or military. We have been working on getting this for so long! Did our research in many myths, had help where ever we could find it even Nazi and worse.
We actually smile and cannot wait.
The light in the box is pulsing, a bright white light. Suddenly it flashes so bright it fills the box and pours out into our eyes, we shield them and miraculously nobody goes blind. Still, we blink the purplish hue away until we see what is in the box. It is not just the light anymore, it has company.
It is a paper-white human body with sickeningly bright purplish-reddish-green hair. But not just any human, but a female. She is in a fetal position with her back to us. One of us we don't know who was able to break the spell long enough to hit a button near the box and the figure jumped a bit while staying in position.
Then she unfolds like a flower and turned over on her back and arched. She is naked. And she is perfect. She is irresistible.
Too soon she realizes this. She picks a word from one of our brains, maybe mine, and she calls herself that. She calls herself "Succubus".
Moving so smoothly, perfect feminine in every way, she is now on her hands and knees, beckoning towards us. Her hair seems to flow behind her!
I don't like this. I don't like this at all. But I am just an assistant scientist, lowest on the totem pole of scientists and then military. So, I start to back away.
But the leader of the project, a man steeped in secret societies looking to be spies and spiritual at the same time, which means diving headlong into the abyss, is the one who walks forward. Nobody stops him. Not to help, not out of jealousy, nope no way no how is he stopped. He reaches the glass ... she kisses the glass and puts her bare breasts on the glass ... he kisses her lips and touches her breasts with only the glass between the two of them ... until the glass is gone and she is on top of him.
She screams out in a sound that is part banshee part the highest ecstacy. She rips his clothes off and rides him even as she is eating him alive. She jumps off of him as he squirts a gushing fountain of all kinds of liquids. His body is like a bag or balloon that strangely empties from these two sources until it is flat. She is bathing in the mixture of fluids where she has also added her own. She is slurping it up and sliding and spinning around in it.
As the others are throwing up and reacting however else they are, I don't wait to see what happens next. I know these people have reaped what they have sown, they have gotten what they asked for and boy are they going to get it.
Finally, I am free. I know she is the key to my freedom, finally!!!! I can escape this evil hell I've been forced to help create.
I run out the door and key it to close it ... it is the only one and is specially created for containment from the inside and the outside. I key in the permanent code for both inside and out and make my way to the many different ways and vehicles to reach the surface and the fully loaded military hum-vee that I have waiting for me.

... maybe some day I can also escape the horror I just witnessed ...

... hopefully that horror can never escape and will eventually die of hunger ...

crush pills in unwakeable darkness

try to wake, get up groggy, digital clock radio is out of reach on floor or about to fall off, why won't the lights turn on, groggily make way through rooms towards the kitchen to crush pills for her, again with the lights not coming on, gotta crush the pills for her then I can shower
in this long rectangular apartment, i shouldn't need to lock the door anymore, I'm all alone, it's dark why aren't the lights coming on are the motion sensors broken?, look around my place, odd that there seems to be a lot here but not a lot at the same time, stare at doorless closet with jackets hung, dad comes in and leaves, dad and brother come in, dad starts taking jackets off without asking, I find him with his cart of my stuff and I ask him what he thinks he is doing. He states he is getting rid of this junk for my own good.
I tell him it is my stuff, I decide what is junk or not and I will rid myself of what I want when I want to, it is not his decision to make.

Segue somehow to a computer screen. It has an odd interface on the menu. There is a vocal part to this, reading the menus and information. The vocal part gets an odd morphing of a visual element. Looks like just lips at first, spinning. But soon it turns into a bone and muscle mouth and throat. It spins and comes closer. It fills in, but still looks oddly like a skinned being. Eventually it is a whole face, barely fleshed, with a jaw that is much smaller than the rest of the head with chapped lips and tic-tac-teeth. It is not a pleasant sight.
Yet my fear actually lessons as the changes progress.

The radio alarm goes off, awakening me from this very vivid and encompassing dream to two thoughts: 1) why aren't the lights coming on 2) what about giving her the crushed pills?

Cinema Lobby To Outside Vending Machine

I am out with a female friend. It is not clear who she is. Sometimes she seems tall thin and blonde, but at other times just an inch or less taller than me not thin and dark hair. We seem close, but I don't think it's a date. We are comfortable with each other, but there is also a kind of distance between us.
We walk into this building. I am not sure what it is. But, it's busy here! Outside it is sunny and green and lots of shiny happy people walking around and lots of activity and smiles and laughter. Inside it's not so much, but it is still nice.
I keep catching pieces of the conversations of passers-by. They seem to be mostly talking about a musician, like one in an alternative band.
Johnny Goth was a name I think. Someone said they saw him without any makeup and in plain street clothes. Someone else said they saw him being put into an ambulance but all they saw was a large gash on his upper right thigh. They may have mentioned another name, but I forget.
My attention is also caught by a strange movie poster. It is for a movie called something like "Phantasmagoria". At first, I thought it is about the old scawi movie "Phantasm", but it isn't. It has the name on top, and underneath it has pictures/illustrations on the left and writing on the right. One I think is of a guy and a girl that look like they are from the 50's in a bowling alley. The people are in the foreground, and they are from a different time but seem familiar for some reason.

Then me and my friend go outside. It is like a rectangular area between buildings, shaded but with some sunlight poking through. It is mostly cement, but with some parts are grass. There is a bench there. It is metal and seems bolted into the ground. There might have been a bicycle rack as well, but I am not sure.
In front of the bench is a big and bulky looking vending machine. It was in the Coke colors of red and white. So, I wanted to get a drink for us. I have a lot of quarters in my hand.
I am shocked by the high price!
Still, I start putting quarters in. I drop some. I take longer than usual trying to find them and pick them up. They are silver and gold and some seem to shine in the available light. I feel like this frustrates my friend. So, I get agitated. I'm trying to find these quarters and it's gotten slower because I can feel her mood. Now I am worried because I think I heard the machine beep.
I am taking too long!

Move Opposite To Me

I kept finding my door unlocked. I am in a dorm like apartment.

One night, I hear all this commotion outside. What is going on? I know someone is outside my door. So, I quietly turn the lock so it's locked. But it gets unlocked so I hold the door closed. At first I cannot turn the lock back, but then I can. This happens again, and again. On the third try, I give up and let the door open. It's the manager or something. He is a super-dark skinned guy. He wants to move someone next door to me that is the opposite, hoping we'd learn something from each other and both be more balanced because of it. I protested. I was thinking they would be loud, rude, disrespectful, etc. I didn't want my life to be disturbed tat much. I have things to do, like homework or study or something. I didn't want to be stressed out with this. But, then I wondered if maybe he was right and it wouldn't be that bad.

"trainer", help in the maze of work

I am in a spacious square room like a classroom. I am further led to believe that this is supposed to have the flavor of a classroom because I am sitting in a chair with the desk that is attached to it, looking like a comma (,).
There are others here, mostly milling around. My attention is on someone behind me. She is in the last row I am in the second to last row, and we are on the farthest right of the room.
I get a strong feeling that this is Amber from work. She seems to be closer to me than the desk part of her chair should allow. Sometimes it seemed she should have that desk part, but she was so close she couldn't have it.
I am focusing on her shirt. It is a black T-shirt with gold lettering over the middle of her chest. It says "trainer". The colors of gold on black and something about the font reminded me of Star Wars, but I couldn't grasp the connection in my dream.
So, I asked one of the people milling about if it reminded them of Star Wars. She said no, it's just a black shirt.
(I have an alternate idea that has come to me for this part:
This lady looks at me as if she is annoyed at the interruption and says, "Now, why would a black shirt remind me of anything worth talking about with you?"
I reply, "So, in your language that translates to "no", right?" and gave her a wink and a puckish smile. She turned her nose up at me and scooted off. Funny!)
So, I turn back to Amber. Again, I'm just looking at the shirt with the words above her heart Chakra. I consider that if only I can see them then they are meant for me to see. And because it is on HER shirt it is also meant for her like maybe she would get something (training from me?) out of what I see with her. Because I was the only one who could see it. I don't know if she could see it, she never spoke.

***

In a kind of segue to the next scene, I am called out of a room to help Beth the team leader at work. I see her off and on. At the same time I do and don't want to help. I feel very lazy and dreamy.
I am in a maze of hallways. I am not quite sure where I am going, but at the same time I don't feel that lost. Just a little. I just keep walking, exploring, smiling. Up ahead of me Beth comes around a corner and she's grousing about how stupid this place is, how it's a maze, and how lost she feels. I start to walk faster to catch her up, but then I feel like I don't want to after all, so I duck into a side hall. This is like a kind of balcony as well as a hallway, the balcony is on my left. I take the time to breathe a sigh of relief and smile before continuing to explore this place.

***