Part 1: From the Female
I had a great night out, full of friends and fun!
I drove home, and someone was in the driveway, calling out to meet them. So, I get out of my car and go talk to her.
She is talking on the phone. She hands it to me. It is Sharri on the other line. She is just talking away all about herself and when I try to make an innocent comment, she gets super upset.
I try to make it better, but she is determined to have it turn into an argument, and one she wins.
I say I am sorry, but it will be best for the both of us if I just hang up the phone right now. and do so.
Moments later she appears right there in person, and says "You can't get away that easily!"
"You have already decided, in your warped mind, that you want this argument and I am the bad guy and you win. I cannot say anything to change this. You want bad for yourself, and I am snot a real person but a bit actor in your drama. So, just do that without me and let me go to bed in peace."
That shut her up, and so I went inside to go to bed.
(we actually talked longer, but the details are fuzzy. she said she had been out all night looking for imaginary characters (Goofy and .. who?) and I said "Oh, when I was out I saw Goofy and one other, but not the other you were looking for." And she got mad at me as if I was keeping that information, or that character, from her on purpose. When 1) I didn't even know she was looking for them and 2) I do not own their schedules! Also there was always noise on her side or something getting in the way of our conversation from her end, yet she always blamed me. Which is why I called this "Ridiculous").
***
Part 2: From the Male
That was bad enough. But no, I had to have a ridiculous argument with my dad after!
He woke me up from a sound sleep because he wanted me up. So, I get dressed. He came back in the room and told me how wrong my shirt was. I counter-argued and kept the shirt on.
Then he wanted me to straighten up a pile of shoes. So, I did that. But I kept kicking them out of order again because they were in a narrow space, so I moved them out of that area altogether. My dad said words that were meant to show how stupid I was for moving the shoes and putting them there of all places -- the new place that is!
I just ignored him this time.
Then he started in on my hair, or really lack there of. "You know, John. How can you hope to have people respect you and have a good life like me if you continue to shave your head to the skin. You like like an idiot or a thug."
"Would you stop sabotaging? That is all you do! You have to have others be helpless in front of you because YOU are the one who feels helpless, and if you deflect that to others you think you will feel OK. BUt if that is true, why do you keep on deflecting it anyway? Just because someone asks for help, doesn't mean they are helpless! Sometimes it is simply being human, sometimes it is a way to gain togetherness, comradery, things like that."
He dismissed that.
A little later, I ask what is REALLY bothering him, I mean really. He wants to be quiet and say non-meaningful things and keep the focus on my present "stupidities" from his POV, but finally he says it.
"You just kept on hitting that button and costing me taxes!"
"What button?"
"In the restaurant!"
"What restaurant, when?"
"YOU know."
"Well, you are not being specific enough." The nI try to lighten the situation with a joke. "Could you tell me more, I've slept since then."
He almost smiled, but covered it up right away so I wouldn't "win" and just glowered.
So, I was left to figure it out on my own devices. Eventually I worked out a possibility and told him.
"You mean the apple cider machine at that one restaurant?"
"See, I knew you were just playing dumb."
I decided not to talk to that, instead I said "What did I do? And ... just tell me, ok?"
"You pushed the wrong button and it cost me taxes."
"That doesn't make sense. Shouldn't you blame the restaurant for making a ridiculous system like that in order to trick the customers out of their money? And if it is taxes, isn't that the government? Why are they tricking you out of your money?"
"Fine. Just pass the blame like you always do."
"Dad! That is not fair! OK, let's say I am, for the sake of argument, then let's see how it is remotely my fault."
He just glowers at me again.
"I know, I know, I am the one who pushed the button. But,did you ever go to that machine yourself and look at it?"
"I was near that machine but I never used it."
"OK, so did you look at it?"
"I guess ..."
"Well, there were two red buttons side by side. Same color, same size, same shape, same style."
"OK?"
"And so they invited confusion that way! They made it easier for people to mistakenly push the wrong button! Heck, maybe BOTH buttons would have cost you taxes I don't know! Did you ever consider that, dad?"
Mumbles "no, not really."
"And, that was years ago! Why are you keeping my so-called 'mistakes' forever on the books?"
---
And that is when my eyes opened. So I closed them.
"Look, I have to end this now and get up for real. Try something different this time, dad. Try to take other people's ways of doing things as just that. And try to forgive or at least forget their past 'wrongs' to you. OK? You have less of a burden that way."
"But you do that to me."
"Not nearly the same thing. I don't keep hold of your mistakes, I am forced to not be able to forget your long string of on-purpose bullying. You bring it up every time you do another one, like this exchange. You do it on purpose. My mistakes are just that, being human. What is so terrible about me wanting to be me and having you love me as is? You are making promises you do not keep, you are going on trips with everyone BUT me, and when you come home you don't even tell me you are back.
I do not do what I do to harm or judge others like you do. Now, quit reminding me of your bad side and say something nice, something real before I get up. please."
"My only real burden is having a first-born son in you."
"Great, thanks dad! You never really surprise me."
And that is what I woke up with.
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