Family Time (Get me Outta Here!)

I am having a series of very vivid dreams. I had awoken at around 8 with one from inside a grocery store that is not the subject of this blog because I only recall a few small details. There were a lot of people in there but it was not crowded. I was the only male there. All the female shoppers were wondering why I, a single male, was there at all. I did not belong and should not be getting food. They were surprised to see me with actual food in my cart (We were in the fresh veggie/fruit section and I was picking items out there). A grocery clerk was called over, and it was a female, and she also wondered why I was there. Her supervisor was called over, and SHE thought the same. The Manager was called and SHE thought the same, finally an outside party was called and wanted to know what all the fuss was about and she couldn't figure out what the deal was BUT wasn't arguing too hard for my side. This whole time, I am helplessly watching my veggies start to wither. :(

ANALYSIS: Obviously about my situation at work. The Office is all female and they keep taking away my hours without replacing them. They told me last week they will try to find me hours with a client that wants a male caregiver. She isn't helping, and the UNION isn't helping either!

***

So I woke from that dream, but I was still tired, so I actually went back to sleep ... and dreamed. It was around 8 am so it is not usual for me to dream after I wake at that time. Usually it's a dreamless nap or lying in bed ...

FAMILY TIME (WHEN AM I LEAVING?)

The beginning is hazy. Basically, I am somewhere, and I get time off and I have to be somewhere and they will pick me up and take me back.
The place I go to is hazy ...
I end up going downstairs and ending up in my parents TV room. Mom, Dad. They are watching a TV series, on National Geographic Channel with help from other channels, that has been advertised as an EVENT. They have drones and satellites and other things that have groundbreaking tech on ground penetrating radar and more! It is an Archaeological dream! Computers can use the information from many tools to create imagery you can see so it is as if you are traveling around inside. They can find and show Fossils, Underground Tunnels and Cities, Post Holes, Hidden Pyramids looking like hills or mountains now, under desserts, under The Temple Mount, Hidden Rooms in the Great Pyramid and Sphinx and other surprises, even under water structures that blow the minds of scientists!
But my mom wants to play with something that is on an over-screen covering the TV show. At first it is during a commercial, but the ads are clearly over and she is still messing with this other screen. I am annoyed. Dad tells me they are recording it it's ok. I say well I don't have access to the recording. Dad says it will be on again. I said I don't have cable, and you invited me down here specifically to watch this new show with you.
"Typical, you don't ... can't ... care about us, you just want to use us." says dad
I say "But YOU invited me to talk so I came to talk, I didn't even know this Show was on."
My dad tries to argue interrupt me saying I did know about the show, but I counter how mom said she did not like how when we sit down to talk and /or eat we never talk ... and she is the one who turns on the TV! Then my dad tries to defend his wife and I say in defending her you exonerate me because it shows I'm telling the truth. You asked me to come down here to talk and eat and we don't do either bc TV!
My dad still tries to argue! So, fine, since I am not there to talk, or eat, or even watch the TV show that interrupted that, I'm leaving.
"Running away again?"
"There is nothing here for me but lies and drama. I'm not running away, I am escaping a psychological gulag."

(MISSING SCENE: either before going to my parents or after I am with my brother and we are outside doing chores. Well, he is supposed to be doing the chores, gut he slowly talked me into doing more and more of them and him less and less. I got fed up with it and just left the unfinished chores for him to do. He also wanted to leave the chores unfinished, but was mad at me.
...
Part of it involved my dad trying to rearrange a garden piece that was made up of heavy layers. You had to take the layers off each other in order to move the whole piece and re stack them. I got tired of this and just left it unstacked)

So, I go upstairs to my room. It is like a room in a house, but at the same time a suite in a hotel. On the way, my brother hands me a helium balloon. It also has a cardboard tag that is weighted. In the dream, I can clearly read both sides of the tag and both sides of the balloon! I took a moment now that I am alone in my room, and re-read the balloon. I go lucid for a bit because ... hang on, I can actually read this balloon! In dreams, you cannot read. It is really gibberish ... especially if you try to read it again. But no, this time I could read and re read. I don't think it was anything special. It was like a long skit on a birthday card.
My attention is taken away from the balloon when I realize my sister is rifling through my suitcase I have half-packed to leave.
"What are you looking for?" "Nothing," she replies ... as she continues to rifle through my stuff without asking.
"Would you please stop that, I just repacked that and I'm tired and I want to go to bed."
"I knew it! Oh, never-mind." I think she is done and is leaving, nope, she has started up a console game. I tell her she has to go, it is late and I have an early day tomorrow. She huffs and kicks something and storms out, slamming the door.
...
I angrily sigh. Really?
To calm myself down before bed, I am looking for a place to put my balloon. But some places the ceiling is too high, or too prickly with stucco, or too close to the window, or there are water leaks in the ceiling, including a moldy stain. I finally just put the balloon somewhere (meaning it is helium so I let it flat up and stay there).
So, now I can relax, right? I start to go to sleep, but then I am wide awake! When am I supposed to go the meeting point to leave this place? oh, I left the note on top of my half-packed suitcase. Well, I only had out things that would fit on top like clothes for tomorrow and toiletries etc. I look and look (my sister did not do a good job putting things back they way they were) OH MY SISTER!
The note, I cannot find the note, did my sister take it? My dad probably talked her into it. But I still remember when I'm leaving ... don't I ... Don't I ... DON'T I? CRAP I CAN"T STAY HERE!
****
And that is when I wake up. My heart is racing! I say out loud "It's OK, It's OK" and then I realize where I am and I say "No it's not."

Bus To and Fro (A.K.A. Surrounded But Lonely)

This is long. I'm trying to keep recall of all the details. There were many specific details.
***
I am waiting at a bus stop. It's more like a large parking lot. I watch this pale white teen/20s kid kind of talk-humming to himself out loud riding a strange vertical body length skateboard. He was behind it, and moving his hands in the air like he had a ship's wheel, and on the bottom was a single wheel that would turn for direction.
He made a sharp turn through the gate where tires were piled up and was gone. But then I noticed a black older man on a similar device, also talking to himself out loud, and it seemed he wanted to perform for a crowd ... but there was no crowd. He kept on going as if there was.
The bus finally comes, and the driver is grousing about coming "all this way for one passenger". I go on the bus and it's this big long boxy thing that goes on forever, it even has an accordion section. I see lots of people that I know, but they are all either actively in conversations or actively ignoring me or actively making fun of me and making elaborate efforts to cover their seats ... so I go through all the many people like that until I find an unoccupied seat at the very back, people around me actually get up and move and they are let in seats that are suddenly uncovered.
We go through to the outskirts of town. It looks run down and starting to be abandoned, with derelict buildings and fields of lots.
All except for a gas station on the corner and this large complex. We go in the complex. It is blocks long.
***
Now we are waiting for food. We didn't go down to the eating area until told, and the food isn't here. It's still not here! So, I sit down to wait with others. This woman sits down next to me, all smiles and nice conversation but it didn't take very long for another guy to plop himself down next to me and butt in on the conversation, taking it over.
She said something about Peter, and Buttinsky said that was his cousin. I asked for Peter's last name and realized that was MY cousin! But the butt in made a point of saying that WE were not cousins (me and the butt in guy). Which didn't make any sense to me, but soon he was shooing me away and sitting next to the girl and I couldn't get a word in edgewise so I just left. I tried to meet the eye of other friends, but .. nobody.
So, it was like a hallway, with an entry into a room with windows on that side in the middle, and on the other side of that room there was another hallway. There was no one in the other hallway, so I just sat there.
FINALLY the food was wheeled in. I managed to find a place in line and was trying to get food but it was ... there was no tray! So I tried to just grab a plate for now.
I tried to find a place to sit, but they all were taken by people or objects. I finally found an empty spot. I put my plate there and hung my jacket on the chair.
I went back to get a salad or soup. I couldn't fin the soup. It was buried in clam chowder like crackers. I try a bite it seems ok. I dig through the crackers to get to the soup and the soup is like a chicken broth with these big stars in it. SO I get that. And I balance a plate of salad on top. I go back to my seat to see my jacket on the floor, in a dirty puddle no less, and someone sat there eating from my plate.
***
Suddenly I'm stood at the end of the food line with no plates of food staring at a strange phone. It says DROID on it, it's a smart phone, the bottom 1/4 pops down and turns so it is a triangle. I try to find out who's phone it is. I accidentally turn it on and it is set to a complex construction game like Age of War Fire Age.
I can't seem to find the owner ... but where is MY phone? And where is my food? I try to get back in line to at least get a salad but these stacks of things are blocking my way.
There are people there, but they aren't helpful. They way where they ask and talk, but don't actually offer any real help or care. Great.
***
Now it's time to go. I can catch a city bus back, but I don't have my cell phone. I head out to the spot. Across the street the gas station is putting up a sign that says opening soon they are going to have Popeye's Chicken.
I panic and feel like I missed the bus, so I want to get a ride home from the place I was at. So I run and run and run back. I run into a running group led by a man.
I get back and I see people in comical cartoon like foam masks full head. One is trying to drive with one on, including cartoon foam hands! With the white gloves? But he has backed into another car. He keeps on backing into them! I lightly tap on his hood to get his attention, and that just pisses him off so he is yelling at me and revving his engine and backing up even more!! So I just walk away. I see a client and he's waving at me, but then a large group of people obscure us.
***
I finally find a bus and I get on, it is packed, I try to ask where it is going but no one not even the driver will tell me! SO, I am nervous and anxious. I finally find a seat at the front of the back section behind the accordion middle and in front of me is a couple females I thought were friends. I asked them where this bus was stopping. "Payne, and um ...." But then they weren't interested in talking to me, so I just tried to sit back. Someone told me the bus is going where it is going, to just relax. But how can I? I have no idea where we are going, and it seems to be going AWAY from my home!
At one point in the drive we have to slow down to drive through a narrow place between buildings where people are lined up outside. We get a little further with people moving out of the way of the slowly moving bus, but then we have to stop because people engrossed on their phones are not budging!
***
Meanwhile, I look out the window, and new Popeye's chickens are opening up all over the place, many miles apart, but still. All new. "They are doing that to overcompensate. There was a nasty shooting in one, one town over, and so they are trying to overshadow that with news of all of these opening up here."
I don't know who said this. I can't turn my head to see for some reason. I ask "what?"
"Yeah, everybody is saying it's a Muslim terrorist. It's becoming this big conspiracy theory. But really it is more likely he is just one of the witnesses in the drive through. The person helping him wanted to get out, so the guy heard the gun fire and pulled forward a bit rolled down a window and they worker managed to get into the car. The worker held his hand out to a girl but, she got riddled with bullets right in front of him so he told the driver to go and they left. But the worker was hit with bullets too and is in ICU now."
And that's when the bus stops and I decide to get off, I am the only one. The bus driver grumbles, manages somehow to slam the door closed, and screeches off.
I am in a resulting dust cloud, hacking. I'm looking around. It looks both familiar and not familiar at the same time, which is really bizarre! Where is my home? Where is everybody? I realize even if I do find my home, I have nobody there waiting for me ... and I remember I had a break in and everything even the bed (not the sheets, which was odd) was taken, and so I literally have nothing to go back to. Nobody is helping me!
***
And I have woken up by now and the images are fading but the dream continues without the images. To try to escape this I open finally manage to open my eyes. But it's too late, I am left with the horrible crushing feelings from the dream .... stuck with taking buses going to and fro, surrounded but lonely.

There and Back Again (Version 2) plus judgment masked as unbelieving critique on one of my paintings!

OK, last night's dream of going one way with someone, and then going from there back to where they started with a different character repeated itself tonight, but it was not the same story. Just similar idea. I don't recall enough details, I don't think there were animal friends this time (dawwwh).
Either in that dream or separate, I am looking through my things and come across a painting (not framed) I did. It is of a tree-lined river with two bulls-eye whirlpools in the middle with at least 2 large water-dragons (almost like crocodile like animals but not a croc/gator/um the other one). These water dragons were on the left of the twin water portals. Flying in the air on the right were a pair air dragons. Both had claws outstretched towards the portals. Were they trying to attack the portals/each other? Were they trying to raise their claws up in defense of the portals? I had the idea that, together, all work together to create and maintain the two water portals!
I think the colours of the portals were red and lilac? Periwinkle, cornflower? A kind of pale light washed out purple with more white in it.
Oh, the critique? A female, like unto my mother, saw my painting as I was about to go on to the next items but she stopped me. She thought it was amazing, but I didn't paint it. Yes I did. No, you couldn't have! Actually, I could have, because i did. But someone like you is incapable of clear symbolic creative thought and such good hand-eye coordination and creative choices.
!!!! Really? :(

Deadpool and girlfriend go to town, There and Back, a non-Hobbit Tale (version 1)

I was watching featurettes on the DEADPOOL live action movie ... bled into my first dreams. Basically DEADPOOL being DEADPOOL with his girlfriend who had powers and was having a total blast! What made this more than just a simple "I did a jigsaw all day and now i am dreaming of putting pieces in a jigsaw" dream was the fact that my mind remembered DEADPOOL lurves fourthwallling and he totally fourthwalled my dream! He made comments to me as if he KNEW he was me dreaming him! Lucid dreaming comments like: "be careful, if you try to actually make that sign from gibberish into something you could actually read, you may wake up!", "Thank GAWD we can actually dream in color! Do you see how me and my girl color coordinated our costumes? I'd hate for you to have missed out on that! By the way, who's ass do you like better? I know I know it's a tough choice, but for funsies?" "Uh oh, looks like you are actually paying attention to the scenary, AND trying to focus and control where you go and what I do! If you continue you to do this, I promise I won't kill you because what will happen o me? But I will threaten to try to end this dream. Don't test me, Mister! I have TEH POW-WHUZ, remember? I could have that one, too. Do you really want to test it?"
=====I don't think I have ever had a more fun dream! It was totally crazy and a complete joy! Sadly he made good on his promise====

********************************************************************

A young girl is walking through a ruined land just trying to regain itself. Along the way, she finds a couple baby animals, including a piglet! They accompany her on her many adventures until she settles down in a town ... years later, a young man is walking from that town to the way the young girl came from. He turns around to see a pig following him ... is it the same pig? P.S. The world hasn't gotten any better here. Ugh .. but at leat I'm getting an interesting and healthy walk in! :D AND A PIG (and other animal) FRIENDS!!!

Game of Cat & Mouse

I woke with this dream interrupted:
I am in a complex building, like a house but more. Complicated hallways, secret passages, multiple doors. Seems to have been built with the sole purpose to run war games? Because there are multiple places to hide, get cover, hold up.
I am here with others. I cannot recall how many others, but at least 1 other male (I am male in this dream, first person perspective the whole time) and 2 females. 1 of the females is a lot like Felicity Smoke.
The building is in a sparsely vegetation area with dirt and other things.
The other male goes out to patrol, and catches one of the enemies off guard. He leaves his hat (I think?) under a tire swing (maybe?) that has a pit, and a sign "1 down ..."
I walk patrol next with Felicity Smoke. We come across the tire swing and she notices something different, a new note (written in dark letters on a piece of cardboard box). "... many to go. Surrender Now."
It is dark out, we are exposed, what were we thinking?!
So we make our way back to the building. We move back smart. We make it. But then we are in a stairway, and above us Felicity Smoke (It wasn't exactly the character, but it sure looked and sounded a lot like her! She is smart, caring, insightful and beautiful) hears a noise! She grabs onto me before she can stop her impulse. I am shocked and I want to say something but I know she wants me to be quiet. But there is also an attraction here ...
But I have to be focused on the task at hand. I can do that. We were quiet and are in shadow, but we can look up into the light.
But when I try to, my vision is blocked somehow...
great, starting to wake up.
I try to keep the dream going, but couldn't really. More of a narrative without visuals.
******
It seems like the dream repeated itself. Like concentrating on taking out the enemies one by one, exchanging notes. Then it started over. The characters changed. The way things happened changed a bit but it was basically the same.

Full Hotel Room, Eating Smart, Manipulating Get-away

FULL HOTEL ROOM

I am staying at a hotel. I have a lot of stuff in the room, all scattered around. I am not alone, but upon waking I cannot recall who I was with.
We discussed travel plans. Went out once and got lost but find our way but by then it was closed so we went back to the room.
I woke up. I am alone. Except I'm not. What I mean is, at first I find my room mates are gone, they left without me. But then I find new people have this room now. They have just checked in.
I am scrambling trying to get all my stuff, and get it all in containers to leave. The dream (or recall of it) ends before I am finished finding/packing all my stuff. I think the new people are a father and his son. They are polite.

EATING SMART

This was truly odd. I don't recall much except the part where I am eating smartphone ... While they are still on ... And more than just one! Until I got tired of eating them and stopped before I finished the fourth one in a row.

MANIPULATING GET-AWAY

I woke up with this one but I recall the least. I had to be careful because I am being watched. But there are objects I can manipulate. If I observe and take my time, I can manipulate then little by little and this affect my escape!
It worked and I got away!

Great, Psychological Torture Dreams Again

I dreamed I was in a household. I was still half-asleep but I heard the heads of the place complain about people already coming down stairs, so as a laugh I came down with my robe on but one arm and shoulder out of the robe. Nobody laughed. I had to find food, no breakfast items left, one helpful person showed me these tiny pieces of chicken specially made for ... whatever, in the freezer. On the table was a long LONG list of chores. On the table as well was a bill I thought was done, but there it was, and paid off for the most part by the head of the house hold, with a note on it admonishing me for my lack of .. whatever. And having me follow up to be sure it was done this time.
I found something for desert, I forget what. But then someone like Anthony Head (I have not seen him in a long time, you know, he was on Buffy!) was admonishing me for not waiting and getting the chocolate cake. Thanks for telling me! But others chimed in about the chocolate cake, over and over again.
****
I am in a school or store, like both at the same time. All my friends are talking about how soon they will be able to live their dreams! Suddenly I feel 20 years older and I missed all that from my abuse, just trying to survive it. I broke down in the aisle. The area changed around me and I am back in my room at my parent's house. My dad is over me, laughing. He closes a clear glass door and walks away. Friends and family stay there, shaking their head at me.
***
woke up with this .... thanks.