I dreamed I was in a household. I was still half-asleep but I heard the heads of the place complain about people already coming down stairs, so as a laugh I came down with my robe on but one arm and shoulder out of the robe. Nobody laughed. I had to find food, no breakfast items left, one helpful person showed me these tiny pieces of chicken specially made for ... whatever, in the freezer. On the table was a long LONG list of chores. On the table as well was a bill I thought was done, but there it was, and paid off for the most part by the head of the house hold, with a note on it admonishing me for my lack of .. whatever. And having me follow up to be sure it was done this time.
I found something for desert, I forget what. But then someone like Anthony Head (I have not seen him in a long time, you know, he was on Buffy!) was admonishing me for not waiting and getting the chocolate cake. Thanks for telling me! But others chimed in about the chocolate cake, over and over again.
****
I am in a school or store, like both at the same time. All my friends are talking about how soon they will be able to live their dreams! Suddenly I feel 20 years older and I missed all that from my abuse, just trying to survive it. I broke down in the aisle. The area changed around me and I am back in my room at my parent's house. My dad is over me, laughing. He closes a clear glass door and walks away. Friends and family stay there, shaking their head at me.
***
woke up with this .... thanks.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
War Games For Real III
I am in a military school dorm building. We thought it was over, we won and we came back home. But, the other side of the war games, out there in the woods, decided it was definitely NOT over. We find out they are planning on attack us, making the war games all too real. How do we know this? Because their adult leader told us so. Our adult leader tells us that the other adult leader came over to tell him what was happening, and he went back to try to talk sense into them. Our adult leader begged him not to go back, but he was determined he had a good enough talk with our adult so he would be fine.
The others sent a video where they executed him as a traitor. Said it was under military law. None of this is making any sense.
So, I tell our leader bad news, we know of the secret passageways. He sighs and hangs his head. We ask what we are to do. Hold up in here, prepare for battle. These people won't take things lightly, if we try to we are certainly dead. The best we can do is be determined to defend ourselves. We have the advantage of fortification and supplies .... well, had, without those damn secret passageways.
I can't believe this! Three times this has happened. Three times it has turned to violence. Three times it has gotten deadly. Three times I have had to defend and attack, take lives too stubborn to simply surrender. I hate this! (yes, I actually remembered having this dream in my lifetime for the third time now. It has never been exactly the same, but so many elements are similar. The situation is slightly different, our adult leader looks different, the woman is new, things like that, but it is still a situation that is similar enough that I mention this in my dream).
I guess I am the student leader, because we are discussing a lot. This woman is there, too. Adult woman. She is thinking up strategies and defenses but she hardly gets to say any of them when the attack happens.
I am outside with her on her horse as she patrols the perimeter and is pointing out ideas to fortify the secret passageways and things, I am not even armed for some reason!
She says "now" and I remember she told me when she said that, to throw coins at her that I had found. I hesitate for a second then throw them at her. She somehow swings her sword around and hits the coins with the broadside and flings them at several enemies at once knocking into them and knocking them down cold! Whoa! She has a gorgeous white horse, she has long dark hair, and she is amazing!
But I have bigger fish to fry, because here they come and I have no weapon! I say "I am unarmed, have some honor left and do not harm an unarmed person!" That works for some reason, and there I am running and stopping to look around and exclaim this again, and running and so on. When a very short person hesitates, but decides to attack me anyway with his sword. I manage to push into close to his body on his upswing and grab his sword arm with one hand and as I wrestle it out of his hand, with the other I push into high on his chest with such a blow he is knocked down and the wind is knocked out of him. He is on his back, legs and arms wriggling. I throw the sword point above his throat and demand he surrender. The wind is still knocked out of him, but I decide to leave him be. I feel he will stay down.
But I hardly have time to consider this for another attack comes at my back. I feel it just in time somehow and turn around and throw my sword forward. It is a woman on their side! I knock her to her back and stab her in the side, stomach, and heart before I realize what I am doing. I see another enemy to my side starting to level a gun so I swing he sword and cut off their gun hand.
What IS THIS? Why is this happening again? Why am I forced to defend my life by taking others? I hate this but it is happening and I am in the moment.
I look for the next thing to do. I see people fighting all around me. But, we are winning. Our adult leader has just started barking orders when I wake up.
(P.S. sometimes dreams are worse than nightmares. hated this, and it feels like the third time. The little guy was wearing khaki like an old movie from the 30s)
The others sent a video where they executed him as a traitor. Said it was under military law. None of this is making any sense.
So, I tell our leader bad news, we know of the secret passageways. He sighs and hangs his head. We ask what we are to do. Hold up in here, prepare for battle. These people won't take things lightly, if we try to we are certainly dead. The best we can do is be determined to defend ourselves. We have the advantage of fortification and supplies .... well, had, without those damn secret passageways.
I can't believe this! Three times this has happened. Three times it has turned to violence. Three times it has gotten deadly. Three times I have had to defend and attack, take lives too stubborn to simply surrender. I hate this! (yes, I actually remembered having this dream in my lifetime for the third time now. It has never been exactly the same, but so many elements are similar. The situation is slightly different, our adult leader looks different, the woman is new, things like that, but it is still a situation that is similar enough that I mention this in my dream).
I guess I am the student leader, because we are discussing a lot. This woman is there, too. Adult woman. She is thinking up strategies and defenses but she hardly gets to say any of them when the attack happens.
I am outside with her on her horse as she patrols the perimeter and is pointing out ideas to fortify the secret passageways and things, I am not even armed for some reason!
She says "now" and I remember she told me when she said that, to throw coins at her that I had found. I hesitate for a second then throw them at her. She somehow swings her sword around and hits the coins with the broadside and flings them at several enemies at once knocking into them and knocking them down cold! Whoa! She has a gorgeous white horse, she has long dark hair, and she is amazing!
But I have bigger fish to fry, because here they come and I have no weapon! I say "I am unarmed, have some honor left and do not harm an unarmed person!" That works for some reason, and there I am running and stopping to look around and exclaim this again, and running and so on. When a very short person hesitates, but decides to attack me anyway with his sword. I manage to push into close to his body on his upswing and grab his sword arm with one hand and as I wrestle it out of his hand, with the other I push into high on his chest with such a blow he is knocked down and the wind is knocked out of him. He is on his back, legs and arms wriggling. I throw the sword point above his throat and demand he surrender. The wind is still knocked out of him, but I decide to leave him be. I feel he will stay down.
But I hardly have time to consider this for another attack comes at my back. I feel it just in time somehow and turn around and throw my sword forward. It is a woman on their side! I knock her to her back and stab her in the side, stomach, and heart before I realize what I am doing. I see another enemy to my side starting to level a gun so I swing he sword and cut off their gun hand.
What IS THIS? Why is this happening again? Why am I forced to defend my life by taking others? I hate this but it is happening and I am in the moment.
I look for the next thing to do. I see people fighting all around me. But, we are winning. Our adult leader has just started barking orders when I wake up.
(P.S. sometimes dreams are worse than nightmares. hated this, and it feels like the third time. The little guy was wearing khaki like an old movie from the 30s)
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